I need some advice...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2009
I need some advice...
3
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 8:50am

Hello all...


I am new to this board, but have been posting over on EAS, which is probably where I need to stay, but finding it hard to end this. If they saw me over here I'd be in big trouble. I may even get caught, but I do need some tough love and some fogless thinking, so any and everyone is welcome to chime in.


My AP/x?AP have been in this A for almost a year. It started out wonderful, lots of attention and emotions swirling about. We are both married, he for only 5 months when this began, me for 15 years. He has been pulling away, not finding the time to see me as much, for the last several months. I had been trying to pull away emotionally myself, but not having too much luck. The bad was outweighing the good so I told him it just wasn't working for me anymore, and I tried to end it. Then two weeks later he wanted to try the friends thing, which turned into me waiting for the next e-mail again, and wanting more and becoming emotionally involved. Then he blew me off last week and I hadn't spoken to him since. Now he wants to see me again. I don't know what to do. I know he is confused too about this whole thing. He has/had (not sure which) strong feelings for me, and this is like a crazy whirlwind for both of us. On one hand I hate the thought of not seeing him, on the other hand, I can't be thrown crumbs either. Even if I talk to him about it I can't help but wonder if it will fall into the same pattern again anyway. I don't know if I should continue to ignore him for a while, or see him and talk....very confused. Should I give him the cold shoulder longer? I am afraid he won't try too hard I guess. I hate to just not respond, or play games. But I also don't want to give the impression he can treat me as a doormat and I will accept it either.


Also, it bothers me that the fact that it is plain WRONG doesn't make me end it. It's like I don't even care about that! What's up with that?? That's not good.


Very confused. Have been for months.

Thanks for listening...hoping I get some advice, I should decide today whether I want to respond/see him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2009
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 10:55am

Hi There~


I'm sorry your going through

cntrygirl03
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2008
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 11:11am

Please believe me what I am about to send your way, is coming from many of my own BTDT's.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2007
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 11:35am

Hi Live,