I need some affair advice...desperately
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I need some affair advice...desperately
| Tue, 01-20-2004 - 4:20pm |
I need some advice....desperately. I am a young woman who has been married for quite a few years. I am in my mid twenties. My H and I have young children. Recently, we befriended another couple our age through one of our children. We had a lot in common with the other couple and have been doing a lot together lately.
The thing with my husband is that I really can't be myself around him. I am wild and love to dress sexy and drink at the bar with friends and go crazy. My H would rather sit at the house and watch a rented movie and have a beer. He gets mad when I drink or when I wear something even remotely revealing. I am very young and have kids and I want to know that guys my age still find me attractive. Plus, our sex life sucks. It is not my H's fault because up until we met this other couple I thought my sex drive was completely gone, but the H of the other couple has proved me wrong!
The problem is, I secretly went out the other weekend with the H of the other couple. We ended up having a great time and a lot in common. The funny thing is that his W is exactly like my H. They are both boring, jealous, homebodies. Nothing happened between us that night except some extreme flirting but on the way home he indicated that the two of us should have an affair. I had decided at that point that the physical attraction was entirely too strong between the two of us and that I'd just avoid them. That didn't happen. My H being friendly with them also invited them over. We had a few drinks and then my H had to leave and his W did also. The flirting went to a serious level once it was just the two of us again and then to the confession of how bad we wanted to sleep with each other, plus some minor groping.
Now all I do night and day is think about this MM and he told me he had been doing the same the whole past week. I don't want to have an A on my H because he would be CRUSHED! He is an incredibly faithful person. But, I am SO physically attracted to this guy and I haven't felt that way in a long, long time. He truly woke up a part of me I have not felt in years. Plus, I am friends with his W. He has admitted to me that he has cheated on her before and been caught so I know that he is no saint and probably just out for a piece, but I am not exactly looking for a R anyway. I don't want to get caught because my H would be devastated (plus he's extremely vengeful so I would be afraid of how he would screw up our lives if he found out) but I am completely consumed with the idea of sleeping with this guy, if only for a night. I cannot get it out of my mind. Should I just do it to get it out of my head and see if there really is a spark missing between my H and me?
P.S. There is not a chance in hell my H would "forgive" me if he found out.
Edited 1/22/2004 4:39:08 PM ET by karenca2004
The thing with my husband is that I really can't be myself around him. I am wild and love to dress sexy and drink at the bar with friends and go crazy. My H would rather sit at the house and watch a rented movie and have a beer. He gets mad when I drink or when I wear something even remotely revealing. I am very young and have kids and I want to know that guys my age still find me attractive. Plus, our sex life sucks. It is not my H's fault because up until we met this other couple I thought my sex drive was completely gone, but the H of the other couple has proved me wrong!
The problem is, I secretly went out the other weekend with the H of the other couple. We ended up having a great time and a lot in common. The funny thing is that his W is exactly like my H. They are both boring, jealous, homebodies. Nothing happened between us that night except some extreme flirting but on the way home he indicated that the two of us should have an affair. I had decided at that point that the physical attraction was entirely too strong between the two of us and that I'd just avoid them. That didn't happen. My H being friendly with them also invited them over. We had a few drinks and then my H had to leave and his W did also. The flirting went to a serious level once it was just the two of us again and then to the confession of how bad we wanted to sleep with each other, plus some minor groping.
Now all I do night and day is think about this MM and he told me he had been doing the same the whole past week. I don't want to have an A on my H because he would be CRUSHED! He is an incredibly faithful person. But, I am SO physically attracted to this guy and I haven't felt that way in a long, long time. He truly woke up a part of me I have not felt in years. Plus, I am friends with his W. He has admitted to me that he has cheated on her before and been caught so I know that he is no saint and probably just out for a piece, but I am not exactly looking for a R anyway. I don't want to get caught because my H would be devastated (plus he's extremely vengeful so I would be afraid of how he would screw up our lives if he found out) but I am completely consumed with the idea of sleeping with this guy, if only for a night. I cannot get it out of my mind. Should I just do it to get it out of my head and see if there really is a spark missing between my H and me?
P.S. There is not a chance in hell my H would "forgive" me if he found out.
Edited 1/22/2004 4:39:08 PM ET by karenca2004

obviously he is a player and only out for the physical part of it.
Women (speaking from experience here) tend to become emotionally
attached to someone after they have sex with them and just like one of
the previous posts, you can't do it once and think it will be over.
Because once you have let him have that part of you, no matter how much
you want it to be a one time thing you won't be able to allow yourself
to do it. You feel like you have shared something special with him and
want him to appreciate it but in your case if he has done it before I
would be leerly because you don't want to set yourself up for the heart-
ache that goes along with the A. Because believe me there are so many
emotions that go along with having an A, not just guilt, so my advice is
don't do it. I am speaking from my own experience, if you doubt me
read some of the other posts and see how people who get caught up in an
A feel and how hard it is to walk away.
I wish you luck with whatever decision you make. If you decide to follow
through with it, please be careful so you don't get caught!