I NEED SUPPORT OR ADVICE!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
I NEED SUPPORT OR ADVICE!!!
12
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 9:23pm
I'm not sure how to feel. I cried because I was feeling sad.

My MM and I had been doing well, but the week of thanksgiving he got sick. He already had a load of work that week, but winded up staying home cause of it. He did email a couple of times while he ws at home, but then let 4 days pass w/o a call or even a email. He got back to work on monday and sent a quick email saying he missed me and also said he had a ton of work to do. I waited for his call cause he would call me on his way home, but there was no call.

This morning,tuesday, I sent him a email saying I was upset that he let so many days pass w/o a word as to let me know what was happening & that he should have called me on his way home. He sent a email back saying he knew I would be so he didn't call cause he didn't want to deal with it because he was still dealing with his illness, plus he has work and also has bills to pay and things are stressing him out, but that it had nothing to do with our relationship just that he's having trouble dealing with all that. I answered back saying I understood. Then he answered saying he would call on his way home cause he wanted to relax, but again he didn't call.

I miss hearing his voice on the phone. I feel sad cause we haven't talked on the phone. Except for a few emails in between, I haven't heard his voice in 12 days. I guess I don't understand why he can't just call me. Why would it be so hard to do? If it's not about our relationship then why hasn't he called me?

Am I making to big of a deal? Am I being overly sensitive?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 9:39pm
Is there anything wrong with you calling him? Why wait for his call? I understand how you feel. I talk to my MM about 2-3 times each week and I mostly call him. I would like to talk to him more but he has a hectic travel schedule and I do not want to bother him too much. He does ask me to call since he is never sure when my H is around. Perhaps your man needs you to take the initiative some, just don't be overbearing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2003
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 8:08am
Ms Fleabee80, please leave this board if all you are going to do is insult it's members. We are here to speak with others in the same situation, not someone who is going to belittle us and use harsh unfair words. You cannot judge until you have been in that person's shoes. Thank you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 9:18am
thank you for saying that lovinmymen...

We all know that what we are doing is not acceptable to some people but until they have walked a mile in our shoes please do not pass judgement on us by calling us sinners. This is our life as we know it.

 Seeburg    

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 9:38am
Agree . Please put fleabee80 in you ignore list. Atleast she doesn't change her name like the other loosers with no life whatsoever.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 11:33am
I guess you all saved me from reading it.

I don't know what fleabag said,but all I know is she is the one with the problem.

People who judge other people like that are just envious, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 12:00pm
I blew it! I couldn't wait to hear from him and called him yesterday making up some silly excuse to call him. Man, I shouldn't have because his wife was at work when I called. Damn! Bad timing. He was curt and hung up too quickly. Later, he called me at work and didn't sound too happy... Looks like he has some problems with his family. Plus wife has been bugging him to go on a vacay, so that what he been discussing with her when I called. He said there is no way we could meet before the end of the year. And after that he going on the vacation with W, so it will be some time in the middle of Jan we could get together. So, as you can tell all my good spirits from yesterday has gone, vanished in the air. I have to spend the entire holiday season without him and its so depressing. Ugh.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 12:06pm
hey frenchie -- hugs to you honey! i'm sorry you're down about your MM and the NC situation.

SO DO SOMETHING JUST FOR YOU!!! -- make plans to go somewhere fun during the holiday season, so you have something to look forward to and are not just thinking the negative thoughts about your MM. and besides, with MM's situation at home/work with the W, it sounds like he wouldn't be much fun and/or good to you if you did manage to get together -- just too distracted!

cheer yourself up and do something fun, happy, exciting, whatever it takes to change your mood for the better!

take care,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 12:21pm
Yeah, that's what I am going to do just chill out on my own. I agree time with MM wouldn't be good, he's probably got too much on his mind. Atleast now I know what I need to do for the holidays. Probably I will take up my friend's suggestion and go visit her for the holidays in Canada. Thanks for the hugs, Gurl!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 12:38pm
YES, roadtrip!! that's just what the doctor ordered. go for it, french.

and enjoy your time with your girlfriend and all subsequent occasions with girlfriends. i've found that my girl posse is my BEST medicine for any situation!

more hugs to ya,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 3:55pm
My mm is supposed to come by the end of the year, but I seriously doubt it. I haven't been with him in months either. I was stressing the other day because we didn't talk on the phone like I'm soo use to. It's been about 2 weeks since I've heard his voice. A lot of email, but it's not the same. So I had a small, teeny weeny, breakdown.

He's stressing about work and other things. Things he needs to take care of at home. So I decided to give him his space for a bit. I said I would back off. He doesn't need me hounding him right now. I'm not going anywhere I'm just going to slide to the background for a bit. I don't want to, but I think I need to ---> for my sanity.

I know he'll come around again once he de-stresses. I just hope he doesn't take to long (fingers crossed).

Wish me luck, :).

Pages