I need to vent out of confusion and hurt...
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|Fri, 11-01-2013 - 9:12pm|
So, I had an A with a guy I have known for most of my life and things ended badly last time but we finally reconnected in August and were trying things with us again. We went slow this time around rather than the speed relationship we had last time. We talked everyday except weekends. We had not only sexual conversations but intellectual and emotional ones too. We started getting to know each other well and honestly became like best friends. About a month and a half ago, we stepped over the line into physical with a kiss. One kiss and talking close to all day everyday for a bit over a month. This is where the frustration, hurt and confusion comes in. I have not talked to him in a month as of today. That last day we talked he seemed normal just a bit busier than usual. I asked him to meet up and he told me that he is expected at home so he couldn't (he has a live in GF). Now here it is a month later and I have not heard from him. No explanation, no nothing. So, I am out running errands this afternoon and notice his truck behind me so I am thinking he is following me to talk. We are on a back road so I pull over and he just passes me by. He knows my car like the back of his hand so there is no way he didn't realize it was me in front of him. He doesn't wave, honk or anything. His GF along with my H know about the A last time which was why we stopped contact but this was not my choice and he isn't even acknowledging my existence now. If his GF found out about us this time somehow....fine but at least have the decency to tell me we need to cool it. My H knew we were in contact and didn't like it but I still had contact with him. My H even thought this guy had more than just sex feelings for me from a conversation he read so why is it that I seem to be disposable from his life but I don't make him disposable from mine??!! I drove home feeling so hurt again by him. I finally just texted him game over. I am not a game to be played with and thrown out whenever I don't fit his life. Ironically...our song played twice while I was in the car so that made it that much worse. I have many other options to pursue an A but this guy is the only one that I saw worth risking my M for.