I Nother Lurker....I am in AWE of you!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
I Nother Lurker....I am in AWE of you!!!
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 6:48pm
I didn't know that you ended your affair over a phone call, and I am now quite impressed. Of course, you must understand, as I do, that the "phone call" is not what ended the affair, but rather, what the phone call (or lack thereof) symbolized.

In my case, in my affair, I was treated offhandedly, often ignored, often disrespected, often treated like my feelings didn't matter or that I didn't have a life of my own to deal with. I stuck with it for much longer than I should have for the simple reason that it didn't seem that ODD to me to be treated that way by a man. To me, all that mattered was that he not abandon me. I told him that even - once, when he forgot my birthday for the second time in two years, I freaked out and ended it on a voice mail. When he called me to discuss it, I went back to him, telling him that all I wanted to know was that he still loved me!!! I am now very sad that this was the way I allowed myself to be treated. But I sympathize with myself - it was all I knew. I was treated pretty crappily by my dad, and I was treated pretty crappily by my husband. So, as I said, it didn't seem odd to take that kind of crap from someone, as long as they didn't dump me.

I did finally end it though, and that is all that matters. I now have the love of a gorgeous, brilliant, tender man who is completely devoted to me and would never treat me that way. I KNOW it. I trust it. I believe it. I don't know how or why I deserve the love of this man, but somehow, I have that love. And now, I am amazed that I ever accepted less.

Will you tell me your story, Lurker? I am really impressed that you handled things the way you did.