I really did it now...
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| Fri, 11-21-2003 - 10:00am |
god, I should have kept those thoughts to myself because he got really pissed and said "where the hell did that come from" and talked about how he calls me every day- morning, after work, etc. and tries to see me every chance he can get.. and he said that was so unfair of me to say.
well, he's right- but I can't help but feel insecure like that sometimes. so I just emailed him back and told him to forget it- I should have kept that to myself. I haven't heard from him since.
I need to realize that, no matter how deeply our feelings are involved and how much we love each other, it will never be anything more than an EMA. it's something EXTRA. that's all. how can I expect him not to live his own life? I think if he dedicated every waking second of his life to me, I would get sick of it fast!!!!
just had to rant... get my thoughts out there... what do you girls think, any words of wisdom? I'm not going to email or call him... just going to lay low.

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I've come real close to saying those kind of things, without going all the way. If I was you, when you hear from him (because you will !!) I'd just laugh it off and blame it on PMS or something like that. Best wishes, and try to cheer up !!
I'm sorry your feeling upset and he's pissed. I think you needed to tell him how you feel but also you do need to remember , like you said it's Just an EMA and it's all extra ! Nothing more....nothing less. You need to send him another email apologize but tell him you need to let him know your feelings and tell him that even though you know how much he invests in the EMA you know he has a full life as well and sometimes it just gets confusing and I'm sure he'll understand. Let him know that you understand and you appreciate what he does do for you. Good luck, I think things will blow over easily.
Wishing~
and so you made a mistake. you apologized for it, so let it go now. your MM will get over it in a few days and probably act like nothing even happened. YOU must also let it go now. give MM a few days to get past your words. i'm certain he will be fine by monday.
focus on yourself and the coming weekend. and have some fun yourself saturday night!
take care,
gurl
It will blow over - they forget about these things quickly (usually)
cl-liberalgirl
callmeliberal@hotmail.com
he finally emailed me back (7 hours later! he must have really been stewing) and said "Okay, let's just go back to this morning before all this happened. I
definitely don't want to go home like this with you. I just want you to know
that I love you very much. "
aww...
I'm feeling so much better about that now... we don't get to talk at all on the weekends, so we never like to start our seperate weekends on a bad note.
I've just really been in a funk lately, and I want to get out of it soon. it's not fun to feel this down!
I can totally relate to your story. Call me the queen of insecurities on occasion...yep that's me. My MM has been extremely patient with me. When I feel my insecurities getting the best of me, I try to remember the reality of my situation. He's got a wife to deal with, he's got kids to deal with, and he has a very demanding job to deal with (being a supervisor in his office also adds staff to deal with on top of his regular duties).....yet, he still makes time for me during the week. The weekends are a different story since with the wife and kids at home he can't exactly be calling me. But still the insecurities pay me a visit, and then I must use logical reasoning that he is in love with me (this was an emotional A long before it ever became a physical one) and those feelings aren't going to suddenly vanish for no apparent reason.
Concentrate on the good memories....such as his contacting you to tell you how much he loves you and not wanting to end your week on a negative note. Those actions speak volumes to how much he cares for you.
Hopefully you have a relaxing weekend and by next week will be feeling much cheerier.
Annika
Brightest Blessings, Annika
Hey Complicated,
I hear you hon and I do understand... most times I'm understanding of MM... work, family and such... but sometimes it can get so hard.
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
long story short, i've been married over 7 yrs, 1 child. haven't had sex with H in over 3 yrs. almost 1/2 my marriage. we care for each other a lot, but i honestly feel we'd be incredible friends, we're not making each other better people has husband/wife.
enter my A. he's my boss, he's married, and he's the most incredible person i've met. we were together for about 6 months and he recently ended it. he holds a high position, which involves a lot of hours, stress, he's a young exec, grooming to be a leader within the company. lots of risk around our relationship at work and obviously outside of work (home). he recently learned of some health problems, found his child wasn't responding to him, felt work slipping, and most recently, is encountering a legal issue. as a result he "can't do it" anymore.
however, we still talk everyday. we work together it's inevitable. but our conversations rarely stick to work - they always seem to take a turn back to us. he stands by his issue of not being able to handle it right now, but never seems to close the door completely. he keeps giving me nuggets to hold on to - says/does things to make me know that he still wants me in many ways, but just can't handle it right now.
i don't know what to do. i can't get my mind off him. it's been 2 months since we've been together, but everyday for me is like a new opportunity to get him back. though we've been "off" for 2 months, we still talk everyday, flirt, laugh, etc. he wants to remain friends and "see what happens" after all his issues clear, and i'm left waiting around. hoping.
we're going to a holiday party together (just me/him) in a few weeks - a work thing. i can't wait b/c it will be the first time in a while that we're out together, in the city, alone, and i have high hopes for that night. but i don't want to be let down. i know he "wants" me - and i crave him immensely...i also know it's not purely physical b/c we've maintained a great friendship the past 2 months...what do i do?? we started this A to have fun, and along the way fell in love. now, he can't handle those emotions with all the other stuff going on in his life. am i an idiot for holding on? hoping?
I would suggest you do your best emotionally and mentally to set no expectations for your evening out with your MM except to enjoy the party in his company. I know that will prove to be extremely difficult but it seems he has stressed that he needs some time to resolve some very serious matters and pushing him will not be in your best interest. Just let your evening together be what it is and love and cherish every minute you have in his company.
And again, welcome to the board!
cl-liberalgirl
callmeliberal@hotmail.com
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