I really need advice and quickly !

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
I really need advice and quickly !
7
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 9:29pm
Ok so I am really in a tough spot. MM and I have not seen each other in a very long time due to many factors! We have tried to lately but it just hasn't worked out. Right in the beginning of this A, MM and I set some ground rules one being we would not ever meet at each others homes (also having sex was one too). It has come down to if I want to see MM sooner than later it is going to have to be at my house (H is away a lot, MM sometimes doesn't know if he will be in the area are until hours before which doesn't give me time for a baby sitter). H and I are actually in our 2nd home. This is sort of in between place while we shop for our permanent place so I have no real attachment to it. MM has already expressed that he wouldn't feel inappropriate coming here. Should I let him? I may be able to see him tomorrow if I do. Do you think it will be hard to be with H here then? Also, Mm and I have only met in places that we couldn't really do more than kiss. If he comes here obviously we could a lot more than kiss. Lately, MM has said he would want us to intimate (so much for ground rules) but knows I do not want to be. I am taking something huge by being alone with him in my house where anything goes?? Thanks so much!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 9:41pm
I would ask myself do i want to be intimate with this man?Is this something you are ready for?If he comes over and something happens that you were not ready for,can you deal with it?He may not think it's inappropriate to come over but how do you really feel about it?

What it all comes down to is this if he comes over tomorrow you will be sure something is going to happen with this man.And you have to be able to deal with it after wards and live with your feelings over it.

Not sure if this helps or not. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 9:49pm
Just to add,

Once that happens, it will never be the same. Emotionally, you will be even more attached, and physically...

Well, guess that depends on how "good" it is. LOL

Follow your heart. Not always the best advice, but no sense in me trying to change your mind.

Take care

Red

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 9:51pm

hi briatan,


While MM and I met at my place all the time... this suits us both and we are both comfortable with the situation... however! you must do what is comfortable for you.


Maybe you have answered your own question... if you are not ready to take this further yet feel that given the opportunity then you would be risking so much... then maybe your answer to meet at your place is no.


The ground rules can change... but you both must accept those changes.


Do what your instinct tells you... and that is the right thing.


luv and hugs

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My Affair Support
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"Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly"

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Sweet
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 10:00pm
Brit, you must be comfortable with the choices you make. If you feel that you might regret it go with your gut.

this has been my motto..... Great reward requires great risk!


Saag

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 11:25pm
Once you cross that line the rules of the game change completely and you can never go back.

You will be handing him control of your emotions thus you life.

Keep it public.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2004
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 11:59pm
B -

It is going to depend upon your situation - - I cannot decide this for you

Only you know if it's safe -

My instinct is to say no- especially if you have established the ground rules on this

I just feel I wouldn't be relaxed enough to enjoy myself and be fully attentive to MM -

That is why I prefer to be out of the home, but only you can make that decision

K

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 8:34am
Well I decided to forget all about my convo with MM yesterday. At the beginning of the week (well last week) I decided I needed some time for myself. As it turns out MM wanted the opposite but I am going to try and just concentrate on me. I know I really want to see MM and I know that is why I am so willing to compromise some of the rules we set forth. I am not saying I am not ever going to let him come to my place. I just still need some time to get perspective on all this. We spoke this morning and I didn't bring it up. I don't think he will unless I do. I don't know I may change my mind in the next 5 minutes but I am trying to get grip. Thanks everyone!