I really want to see OM

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
I really want to see OM
5
Wed, 08-27-2003 - 12:42pm
We agreed what happened was a one time thing, and I don't want to see him so it will happen again. I really honestly don't want it to.

I just want to get it over with. You know, just see him so I know we can still be friends. Of course things will be awkward at first, but I'm sure once we get over the initial hi how you doings it will be fine.

But I also don't want to force anything. You know if we both happen to be out great, but I don't want to specifically set up something or send him an e-mail. I just don't want him to get the wrong impression, that I'm chasing after him or something.

Problem is I'll be traveling a lot for work in the next few weeks and now that H and I have seperated its hard for me to go out for my usual thursday night get together with friends because of my dog. (I hate leaving her kenneled at night when she's been kenneled all day while I'm at work.) The next time I'm sure we will run into each other is a friends wedding. He is standing up and I'm going to it. But that's a month away and I hate the idea of letting this go that long.

Any thoughts/ideas?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-27-2003 - 1:05pm
hey celtic.

if you both agreed nothing will happen in the future, the next time you meet, act like a friend and just say "hi". chat a bit and go back to work (or back to friends if you're out and about). after a few times of running into each other and acting breezy and friendly (but no flirting!), you should be back on even footing with OM. friends without benefits. just be cool and calm when you meet up. and you're right, don't set anything up yourself. show up at happy hour but don't check with him first. that sort of thing.

take care,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Wed, 08-27-2003 - 7:29pm
Hey Celtic,

Do you really need to SEE OM to know that you can still be friends? Maybe it will be enough to get on a friendly footing via email/IM/phone -- and that way you will be guaranteed nothing will happen...otherwise, make plans with him for something innocent -- say coffee, or drinks with you AND your friends...

As far as the pooch goes -- I understand your guilt about the kennel. I don't put my dog in a kennel and he does fine (he grew out of his destructive phase -- sorta). You should try leaving the dog in a small room first for a couple of hours, then progress to 2 rooms and for longer periods, etc. Believe me, it works after a couple of weeks (granted in the beginning, my dog ate part of the wall!!) -- dogs can't tell time -- 1 hour, 5 hours -- it is all the same to them!

Good luck, sweetie, and get out of the house!

Alameda

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 11:02am
Hi alameda, My dog just turned a year old two weeks ago. She's a lab and still very puppy. I tried giving her just the kitchen but she chewed up everything she could get her little jaws around. Even managed to chew the handle off my fridge. So she's back in the kennel again for the time being. Breaks my heart to put her in there, but its for her own safty too.

OM and I never really were ones to talk on the phone or e-mail back and forth so I think it would come across wrong to just call or send him a message out of the blue. We saw each other a couple of times a week because we have the same group of friends. And we just sort of always ended up talking or dancing or hanging out together. We have a lot in common and come from similar family backgrounds (both kids from the wrong side of the tracks so to speak) so we just really connect. Even sat outside in the parking lot until 3 in the morning one night trading stories about when we were kids. There is no denying that we are physically attracked to each other. (I'm such a sucker for blue eyes!) But he has a girlfriend and I have a husband so a side from seeing each other out in a group neither one of us made an effort to contact the other.

What happened a couple of weeks ago, wasn't planned or anything, it just kind of happened. I even went to leave for the night, but it turned out that when he left he went to my car instead of his because he realized he'd grabed my cell phone.

I've decided to go out to the bars with my friends tonight. Just for a little while. I'm going to go a little later so I can still get the dog out after work for her walk and everything.

He might be there, then again he might not. Who knows, its always a crap shoot, whoever can make it comes. I think its better that way. I'd feel too much pressure if it was all planned out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 11:19am
Hey Celtic,

I haven't been on the board for awhile, so I apologize if my last post was way off. Sometimes it is hard to keep everyone's story straight!

The chewing phase will pass, but I know how difficult it is...I have a bull terrier and he would destroy some of the craziest things! But now he barely gets out of bed in the morning!!

Good luck tonight and keep us posted!

Alameda

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 2:13pm
thanks!

And don't worry, your post wasn't so far off. It'd be great advice if I wasn't such a chicken about things. :)