I see his flaws but can’t leave him

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2010
I see his flaws but can’t leave him
32
Wed, 06-16-2010 - 7:02pm

Sometimes I wonder why I can’t end my A when I can name so many things I don’t like about my AP. At first I didn’t notice them, but now I see so many of them and still I want him, still go crazy when not with him. I really hope that some day all the things I don’t like about him will

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2010
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 6:50pm
OMG, yes I do but he my high he my temporary happiness and I just cannot let him go..
If a person is causing more heartaches then pleasure then it time to say, Good bye..
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 7:18pm

Would you stop loving a child in the way you love a child just because you had a second one?


A friend?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2010
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 3:53pm


Well I think the the love for our children ,brothers , sisters or friend is sharable & that is why they aren't our life-partner .
If you truly love your husband , no matter what this new guy brings in to your life you can't fall for him .
Al though I am myself having an affair , I think one would not do anything like falling for someone else , knowing fully well what it will do to their partner who they claim to be in love with . You would either stop or dont care .

In my case my affairs are only physical nothing more .

best of luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2010
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 6:09pm
Ok...well now we all know from where you are basing your opinions. See, I can't have an affair that's "just physical"...like bird said, we're all different. Each of us individually loves and feel loved in different ways...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 6:30pm
I couldn't have an A that was just physical, either.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2010
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 7:25pm
Yes, I know EXACTLY what you mean :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 8:36pm

I still disagree.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2010
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 9:21pm
**clapping for bird** LOL!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 10:09pm
She said everything I didn't have the ability to articulate ;)

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2010
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 11:44am
I think I mentioned about myself earlier , I am a male , currently having an affair with my co-worker & recently my fiancee found out.


However I don't see how it changes anything what I said , weather I am having an affair or not. I wouldn't call a bad thing as good just because I am doing it . Should my view on affairs be positive just because I decided to have one ?

And I didn't mean just physical affair wouldn't hurt it will , i knew that very well before doing that , yet i didn't care . The fact is I would have stopped if I had loved her enough and in addition to that I am not married to her yet .


You said "... I do not believe it can be forced or maintained or prevented from being created with another person simply because we chose to confine it within a set of rules called 'Marriage'. "


I agree with you it can't be forced or prevented , that is why it is much better to leave a marriage where the rules of marriage clashes with your own views .


You said " ...The only way to stop love is to stop interacting ..full stop. Don't go out, don't email a colleague, don't go to work, don't shop at the supermarket, don't visit a lawyer, don't get a builder, don't speak to another person except your life partner ....ever."



Its really a little funny (in good sense ) what you said in the above post .
Ofcourse you don't have to stop interacting with others , in order to not fall for some one . You can definitely go to a shop at supermarket yet not fall for the salesman , meet a lawyer or builder & yet not start imagining about them . Believe me it is possible.


As I said earlier , you can claim to love your husband and ap at the same time only if your husband knows about ap & he has no problem with that .



I know my post sounds like I am someone who is just criticizing those who are in affairs but honestly I myself have been into this thing & still am but that is just my opinion . If it still seems judgmental then be it .

Best of luck