I seem to be confusing some of you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2004
I seem to be confusing some of you.
5
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 7:18pm
I seem to be confusing some of you, so here is my story for those of you that might care. I have been M for 4 years and in an EMA with a MM for a little over 1 year. So here is my story. I started to feel lonely and started talking on the phone with a M friend of ours. He would call me several times a day and come over and we would talk and watch a movie. My H knew he would come over to visit and didn't have a problem with it. One day on the phone this M friend of ours out of the blue told me he loved me. I was shocked but I have to admitt he was filling an emotional void I felt in my M. I told my H how I was feeling and he was a little hurt at first but said he was glad I had come to him before anything happened. Then one day our M friend was over helping H with something and H started messing around with me...........needless to say we ended up having a 3some. It was a 3some for about 2 or 3 months, then as feelings grew on both MM and my part it went to just a 2some. Anyways we have been together for a little over a year now. My H is fully aware of our sexual relationship. I know this is a crazy situation but its just the way things happened. Either way I feel lucky because I have 2 men who love me and care for me. I hope this clears things up a bit. I guess some of you wouldn't agree that its right for H to know, but I prefer it that way. I am glad I told him before anything happened, I know how hurt he would have been to hear it after the fact from someone else.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 8:15pm
Thanks for sharing. My SO is in an open relationship to. He always gives the women in his life total freedom to do what - and who! - they want. He said to me once, before we started seeing each other, that his experience has been that the women want the freedom, but that generally, they don't want to give it to him and that he usually tries to abide by it. But in my case it was different. :-) In his current relationship, his g/f started with her boyfriends much like you and OM/MM did....as threesomes. Only, they were exboyfriends of hers and after the threesomes, they evolved back to twosomes, also.

I have a question for you, if you don't mind? Just because I'm trying to walk in my guys' g/f's shoes. If your H were to take up with someone, how would you feel? I assume on a logical level, you'd reason that it's only fair. But how would you *feel* about it???

Glad you came to the board, welcome!!!!

Lucky

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2004
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 10:17pm
Honestly, I would be hurt if my H went behind my back and had an EMA. I would hope if he came to me (as I did to him), that I could be as open and patient as he was. In fact H and I have talked about this subject and he says he has no desire to be with another woman. H initiated the 3some and I firmly believe if he hadn't then OM/MM and my relationship would have stayed only emotional. In my relationship with OM/MM we treat each other as we wish to be treated. We are exclusive with the exception of our spouses. I just wonder how the other women on the board would feel if their H were the ones having EMA? I have to admit it makes you look at it from a different perspective. Thanks for listening.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 10:29pm
1522 - are you in western pa by chance?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2004
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 10:35pm
No actually I am in Texas. Why do you ask?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 10:39pm
paranoid i guess - my zipcode is close to those #'s- and I thought for a minute - "oh no he isn't with someone else too and they are on this board..." Long weekend - NC for 2 days and I'm a little wigged out is all...

bte...good for you - the more the merrier - as long as everyone is on board... ;0

db