I think I am crazy !!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2004
I think I am crazy !!
1
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 9:29am
Hello

In a million years I never thought I would have an affair. I know it is wrong. I feel guilty and still did it ! My husband is great. He does everything (cleaning, cooking). However, he never wants to do anything and thinks watching tv is spending time together. A man at work was hitting on me for months. At first I took it as a joke and then I gave in and agreed to go out with him. We got drunk and kissed. After that we have went out a few times and had sex only three times. We talked on the phone. The majority of the time he called me. I hardly called him. This was going on for about 1 month. We agreed to go away together in two months. Two days after we agreed to go away he stopped calling. I tried to call him twice and my calls were not returned. I have not heard from him in 4 days. I refuse to call him again. I know he got my calls. I know he is ok because he is at work. I have many questions I hope someone can answer. I can't talk to ANYONE about this. My friends and family would really hate me.

1. Why would I have any affair? No one would ever think I would including myself.

2. Why can't he return my calls? He does have opportunity at work. THere were no problems with us the last time we spoke.

3. Why am I so upset that I have not hears from OM? I knew for some reason someday he would just stop calling. In the beginning I was hoping he would stop because I knew I was unable to say no to him. He is lousy in bed. My husband is great but I still want to be with OM. Even though i know it is totally wrong. We both have two children and are married. I love my children so much and would never hurt them over this.

4. If I see him at work should I ignore him? I am not going to throw myself at him and I dont want him to think I am by asking him why didn't he call.

5. Should I answer him if he does call? I don't know if I want to end this. Morally yes but I'm having fun when I am with him.


Edited 4/5/2004 10:14 am ET ET by shopwme

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 10:12am
Hey Shop,

I don't know if this will help but I will let you know what I think.. First of all, this board is a Blessing.. If I hadn't found it I would still be driving myself insane.. I like to read the posts..It helps me get thru the day knowing I am not the only one who is going through all these feelings..

"Why would I have any affair?"

I don't know why! I don't even know why I am.. this is a question I ask myself all the time, yet I do nothing to stop it.. It just happened. And I am not doing anything to get out of it because I care about OM more than I want to..In the beginning, I thought I could just play it off.. Nothing would happen.. I could control the situation, but I was wrong..very wrong...

"No one would ever think I would including myself."

Believe me when I say I am in the same situation. Everyone thinks my husband and I are the "perfect couple" My friends always say we have the perfect marriage..If they only knew the truth I think they would all be shocked. To tell you th truth, I thought I was happy until mu Om came into my life."

2. Why can't he return my calls?

I hated when I was in the same situation but he may need some time to let it all sink in...Even if he has time at work.. The one thing I have learned from this board is sometimes they have this "guilt thing" happening.. He may just need some time to work out his feelings. My OM did this to me sometimes.. not to say we don't have our problems....but it was hard for me to get thru as well.


Give him some time.. It sounds at though you may not want to really be in this situation.. and you can take this time to see what you want..

good luck and definitely use this board as support...

cassy