I think I'm falling.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2004
I think I'm falling.....
2
Sat, 04-17-2004 - 11:56am
Well I'm new to the board but have been reading everyone's post and think that a lot of you have some really good advice. And I need some!

My situation. About 6 months ago I met this really great guy. Not even sure what attracted me to him at first. After 2 months of casual/business conversation he gave me his personal numbers. We began talking a couple times a week. I then found out he was M. I'm single. I've never been involved with a MM before so I didn't know how to approch this but continued to talk to him. We've been talking for 4 months now and it has turned into an everyday thing. Several times a day. I've found out that he is very unhappy at home and is working towards a mutual divorce.



At first I though...hhmmm a MM all he wants is sex. But I've come to the conclusion that this could not be the case. We have not been intimate yet. He said he doesn't want things to go too far before his divorce. We see each other maybe once a week for like 10 minutes. But conversations are becoming intense. I'm falling for him emotionally. He's everything I've ever wanted in a man.

I feel like a kid again with this huge crush. My heart pounds everytime we talk. Yesterday he even said I'm going to try to get out of the house this weekend and stop by. He's never said that. He has all of a sudden started calling at times when he would never call and should be at home with her. There used to be certain times we talked. On his way to work and on his way home from work. But he has been calling at really strange times lately.

I don't know how to take this. I keep telling myself that we are just friends and thats all it could be. But then when he does these things it makes me second guess myself. I've told him that I'm starting to open my heart to him. And knowing the type of guy he is I think when I told him that he would have said STOP! If he didn't want anything more of our relationship. But no he started calling more.

What do I take of this? Someone help me!

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Sat, 04-17-2004 - 12:26pm
Someone

Let me start with telling you what my pre EMA self would say.. Don't WALK ..RUN! I know you two have hit it off but I have always thought that a single woman and a mm is not fair, not for the single woman. I would tell you to end it now and tell him when his divorce is in the works and he no longer lives with her to call you. Actually I have a yonger sister who is D and is interested in a guy who was recently divorced and I told her to give the guy a couple years to get his head on straight. I wonder what the stats are on men/women who marry immediately after a divorce. Divorce is emotionally draining in the best of circumstances, from what I have read of course.

Now my EMA self.. You know better than I what this guy is like. I don't know his circumstances...how long has he been married? Kids involved? He is eveything you've ever wanted...are you sure? I've known my MM for 7 months and my son is bf with his son, I know a LOT about how he is at home and he definitely SEEMS like he would be everything I would want in a man. I don't really know though because I haven't seen him at his worst, and well we ALL have our worst moments.

Just food for thought!

deedee

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2004
Sat, 04-17-2004 - 1:21pm
Your probably right. I should run. But you know as well as I do that its easier said than done. I probably should have done that when I found out he was married. He's been married less than a year. I don't know what he's like at home but I do know how he treats me. I think to myself sometimes there must be something really wrong with "their" whole situation. I mean they haven't even been married a year. But this is his second marriage so maybe he got married too soon after his first divorce. Or she at that matter. I don't know. He has 2 kids with his first marriage. That he just has visitation every other weekend. He loves his kids and for some reason she has a problem with the whole situation. She has 2 kids of her own. That live with them. I don't know what the real deal is. I just know that's one of their biggest fights. And your right he SEEMS like what I am looking for.

And your right this isn't fair to me. But something is telling me to hang on. And you know what the wierd thing about this whole situation is. I'm not even jealous of her. Why because I know I'm getting the best of him. Emotionally. I think they probably are lacking that and that is why he is looking else where.

I just can't keep this guy off my mind. It's driving me insane.

I must be wishing on someone else's star!

Thanks for your advice!