I think today might be the day.
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|Thu, 08-16-2012 - 10:25am|
For the past week I've been struggling with my emotions concerning AP. I love him very much, but have never told him. The last time I came close to it is when I told him I thought I was having deeper feelings and he said if I was he would end it because that's not what it was supposed to be about. That was a year ago.
I feel like I need to tell him, but part of me is scared to death he's going to say the same thing as before. I know I have three ways this could go 1) he says it back; 2)he doesn't say anything and we go on like we were or 3) we end it. I've prepared myself for the 3rd one. I'm trying to find the courage in telling him so that if/when it does end he knows.
I don't want to go all high schoolish on him though. Even though I have feelings for him it doesn't mean I want this to go any further because it can't. Neither of us are going to leave our spouses. But is it wrong to want him to feel the same thing, wouldn't it be nice for both of us to know the other just doesn't look at us as a sexual object.
I haven't fully made up my mind yet, I'm still thinking but I'm not sure how to start the conversation off. How did you tell your AP? What did they say?
"it hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is most painful is to love someone and not find the courage to let the person know how you feel."