I thought it was bliss till..........

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
I thought it was bliss till..........
15
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 8:27am
I had lunch with MM yesterday . Was awesome, we spent about 3 hrs just sitting and talking and laughing. Hes very easy to be with and all. Made plans to meet again next week. It was amazing! During our conversation we mentioned if there were other people we talked to or planned on meeting. We both said no. Well I meant it but apparently he didnt, cause one of my girlfriends belongs to the online personal that I do(AFF) and he wrote her and wants to get to know her. Blah Blah Blah. Well imagine my surprise. So now Im like very down and I thought maybe I had something to look foward to in life. I dont know what to do, I want to continue seeing him again, but I also dont want to be lied to. He could have been honest with me, that would have been ok Not like this has been a long time thing and all, it just started. To find out this way kinda blows that whole bliss thing right out of the water! Any suggestions? thanks vix..

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 9:47am
HI Vic

Confront him let him know that you know and that lieing to you will not work.

Question is do you want to be third puppy in his kennel because this boy sounds like a DOG.


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Avatar for nomoreregrets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 11:32am
First of all confront him FACE to FACE, not over the phone or via e-mail. IF your gut tells you that he is lying then he is. Then dump his sorry BUTT! You deserve better than that! NMR
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 1:16pm
Thanks ladies.. I know your right. I wouldnt know how to confront him, Im not a confrontational person but guess I should. He will probably be like I dont know what your talking about ! I dont know how I expected him to be upfront with me when hes doing this behind the wifes back ?! Thanks again, vix
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 1:33pm
If I know someone is lying to me I ask them an extremely specific question and give them one final opportunity to come clean with me...this usually makes them nervous and they wonder if I know something. If they don't take the opportunity when I offer it to them I show them where the door is at and leave it at that...

As Ive said before, there is enough lying and deceit in EMAs that we are crazy to allow it between youselves and our EMA partners...

cl-liberalgirl

callmeliberal@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 4:19pm
Thanks liberalgirl your right I need to be specific, but what would be a specific question to get him to fess up on his own? Just come right out and ask or beat around the bush? Man this bites I just wanted to be happy you know?!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 4:36pm
Vix,

I'm really afraid to say that if he is a liar, he's a liar, and he won't ever tell you the truth, even when you ask. My SG lied to me from the very beginning. When I found out, I specifically asked him about it to his face and he lied again. Now one year later I just found out about another lie about a trip he said he was going on, but someone saw him in town. I know he has to be wondering if this person told me they saw him. I e-mailed him one week ago asking him if he had a good time. Like liberalgirl said, gave him one last chance to say, oh it got cancelled, something like that. Well, you guessed it, he didn't reply to the e-mail. He knows I know and he is ignoring me. Confront him face to face about it, but it's a lose/lose. If he lies you will know. If he tells you the truth then you still know that he's playing you and others. Please do yourself a big favor and look for someone else. I know that is easier said than done, but please do it...BTDT, C
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2004
Sat, 01-10-2004 - 10:47pm
Ok reading your post made me laugh. First of all, you are cheating on your own husband. And you are getting upset that the man you are cheating with is possibly having sex with other people? Maybe its time to let this loser go and stick to your husband?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
Sun, 01-11-2004 - 8:33am
FYI Im not mad that hes cheating on me with other women. I know hes a cheater! I just dont want to be lied to about it. As for the husband, I am sticking with him, which is why Im in an A. That should tell u something there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2003
Sun, 01-11-2004 - 12:22pm
Okay Vix, so you are not mad at MM for cheating, but for lying, which is deceit. Aren't you deceiving your H? I am usually open minded about such things, but doesn't the fact that YOU are so mad at MM for lying speak volumes about your decision to have an A and lie to your H?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
Sun, 01-11-2004 - 10:24pm
Yes I suppose it does speak volumes, although If the marriage were a decent one one that I wanted to participate in I wouldnt be lying to H. However MM and I agreed to be honest with one another . That is the point.

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