I told him how i feel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
I told him how i feel
10
Sun, 05-30-2004 - 9:43am
I have been in a no strings reltionship for almost two years now. I felt myself having feelings for him. Friday I told him. His was good. I mean i did not expect to say he was leaving his wife or anything. He told me that he did not want to hurt me. He said that he does have feelings for me. He stated that he loves his wife. That really hurt. I know i should not hurt but i guess it does. So for how we have agreed to still see eachother for the time being. If it gets to the point that I cant handle it anymore or i find a relationship then i will leave. I just dont know how im felling at this point finally telling him. Monday we we see eachother. I dont know how im going to handle myself knowing we both have feels with eachother. I know im being stupid and should let go of this man. I love him so much. I know this is unhealthy. So tell me what you think?? What should i do. He may still run from me due to i have feelings now/???
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Sun, 05-30-2004 - 10:39am
I say you definately should NOT dump on yourself because you have 'feelings' for someone else. Are your 'feelings' love? If so, it is what it is, girl!

If your feelings are love, then you should love. You deserve love, as do we all. After all, how often does love happen in this lifetime, really? Once? Twice? Why make yourself miserable about it. Another thought: isn't the human heart capable of loving more than one person, albeit differntly?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Sun, 05-30-2004 - 12:07pm
I told my MM how I felt. (I am MM as well) Never used the "L" word however. Our relationship changed some( at least in my mind) but he has yet to 'run'...

The bummer of this all is that he did not tell me what or if he feels anything for me....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Sun, 05-30-2004 - 12:15pm
you are mm as well?

i see...if he didn't tell you a return at that time, then ouch. You know, though, you expected him to return it when you said it. Yet, you probably already know he has feelings, too, or he'd have 'run.' Why not stick around awhile - it sounds like it will work out for you. hugs!
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 1:42pm
My mm told me FIRST that he had "deep feelings" for me it was months before I emailed and told him I felt the same way. He called me the next day wanting us to get together but I couldn't. He hasn't said anything about it since and we haven't been able to get together since then either. He leaves tomorrow for more than two weeks where there will be no chance for contact. I don't know if it has affected our R or not... I guess time will tell.

dd

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 2:31pm
Whoops- meant to say I am MW not MM!!!

MM and I have more of a friendship than true R. We have never been intimate but many would call it an emotional affair. Neither my H nor his W are aware of our times together (which consist of drinks after work or the occassional lunch) But an A none-the-less is an A.

My story is a long one and I won't bore you with it...the way I came to telling my MM how I felt was a by-product of something else I wanted to tell him. This all came out via a email. But as stated in my other post- he has not run away although I think things have changed a little between us. I have to believe that somewhere inside of him he has feelings for me otherwise this 'thing' we have, whatever it is, would have ceased. We have never discussed the email where I told him how I felt nor other serious things. We seem to just enjoy each other.

I'm not sure if I love him or if he fills a huge void in my soul.... which ever it is, I have felt the ups and downs of all of this for too long.

Let me know how things turn out... I'm thinking about you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<>

v.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 8:03pm
We always return to those we love; don't worry...!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 8:07pm
Thanks@

Yes, A's are A's - in whatever form they take for us.

I think he must- after all, emails and time are indicative of

the same that you expressed...and he hasn't run, right?

He must be spending a ton of time thinking about you,

emailing, seeing you...time not spent elsewhere. This has

great meaning to those that do it. I believe he feels the same and

will express it soon; I have a good feeling about it! Hang in there- I understand totally!
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 11:07pm
rks

We always return to those we love; don't worry...!!!!"


here's to hope!

:)

dd

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 10:44am
Well, I don't think MM and I will consummate this R anytime soon, if ever. He is a busy dad with four kids and a pretty and sweet wife. He and I got together this past friday afterwork for drinks and enjoyed spending a little time together. We talk about our kids and what there up to. He told me about his 13 yr old son's baseball tryouts, daughter's dance, etc. We talk nothing about "us", I don't even think there is an "us" in his mind. As I have said before, I think we are 'special' friends that if our situation was different- we may take this a step or two further.

However, I truly believe he does not, at least at this time, want to take this next step. The guilt would be a lot for him.

Ho hum.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 2:43pm
Angell

What's the latest on this???

Pls let me know.

v.