I want him back

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2009
I want him back
20
Sun, 10-18-2009 - 4:48pm
It has been one year since it ended, and I am still a mess inside. Oh, how I long to hear his voice, or touch his skin. I have lost contact with him, he is no longer employed thanks to the economy. I don't know how to reach him other than calling his house and risking his wife finding out, or stalking him (which I don't really have time to do, but have considered it seriously). He was and is the love of my life, my first love, and only true love. I can't stand not having any contact what so ever. Please give me any ideas to reach him, I am desperate at this point, simply desperate.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2009
Sun, 10-18-2009 - 5:40pm
That is your opinion!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2004
Sun, 10-18-2009 - 7:19pm
indeed :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2009
Sun, 10-18-2009 - 7:26pm
I am sorry you are hurting and missing the man you love. Just wanted to let you know we on this board who are in affairs do care.
Hang in there tomorrow is another day. Be well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004
Sun, 10-18-2009 - 7:44pm

Hi Princess,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2004
Sun, 10-18-2009 - 8:00pm

I am so very sorry for your pain. I know how you feel. At one point AP and I lost contact for some months and it was very hard and painful. But as time went on it got easier but then we reconnected. So that progress I made was thrown out the window.


As one poster just stated, we should all without a doubt try to be productive and improve ourselves, we know that, yada, yada, yada. But it takes time to get back on track sometimes. Take it one day at a time. What you are feeling is not creepy or strange. I've been there before so I understand. Vent whenever you need to.


Btw, What is your story?


HUGS

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2009
Sun, 10-18-2009 - 10:05pm

WOW....a lot of critical people here on MAS. Ignore the haters!


I know it hurts but if we knew your story a lil more then we could help you out. How did the A end? You are human and love can break the heart whether its all good/bad. Its almost like you have to grieve and pretend the AP passed away to be able to move on with life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2005
Mon, 10-19-2009 - 2:53am

At the top of the MAS page there is the statement by iVillage, "Please read our board guidelines before posting."

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2009
Mon, 10-19-2009 - 4:45am

Well said Lost. Even though i am interested to always hear other peoples take on situations, this board is here for a reason. If you dont like what is being discussed here, then dont read it and certainly dont post your tripe.

Zverushka- I was told if i have nothing nice to say, dont say anything at all, so heres my take on your opinion:"..........."

Princess, if it has been a year, then you have gone way too long stewing about this man. He is M and unless YOU have moved homes, he would have contacted you if he wanted you. Take the silence as the fact you didnt mean as much to him as he did to you. No one likes rejection, but you have to draw where you become obsessive about him and maybe therapy or some other form of looking into yourself will give you answers to why you cannot move on. You cannot find a new love until you get past your need for this man although he is long gone.

Good luck to you.

SB

Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2009
Mon, 10-19-2009 - 5:56am
So you want to know the whole story, well I will make it short. I was barely 16 when we met, he was 21. I met him at a college party. He totally swept me off my feet, not sure I believe in love at first sight, but this was pretty close to is especially for a 16 y.o. Anyway we seen each other for a little while after that night. He was my first everything. Then the protective older brother of mine decided that he would put a stop to my relationship with an older man, so he did. Over the next few years, we still seen each other off and on. We both went our separate ways but could not stay away from each other when we were in like company. Then when I was 19, I met the man I would marry and am still married to today. I cut ties with my "first love", and went on with my life as he did the same. It wasn't until ~2years ago, I ran into him again, all of those feelings came rushing back, overwhelming to me. I thought they would go away but they only became stronger. I was actually mad at myself for allowing myself to have these feeling at the beginning. We began seeing each other and talking on almost a daily basis. He too now married, unhappily as he would describe, and has a child which whom he loves dearly. This would continue for ~10 months or so, then we both decided that it should probably end. I knew it was the right thing to do but, didn't want to let him go. I was very emotionally upset as you can imagine. He stated that this was not healthy for me and that he would not call me again, because and I will quote;"As soon as you start getting over all of this, there I will be calling". And so it ended, he walked out of my life just as quick as he appeared back in it. And I get his reasoning, I do. We both are married and have families, and unless we are willing to throw it all away our fling on the side is point less. I get that I really do. But I was happy when I was in his presence, it felt so good for him to hold me in his arms and look deep into my eyes. I miss him so much. I long to just touch him. We had discussed getting together when our kids are grown, well that will be a while. Things can change between now and then. I don't want to hold on to false hope. Things have changed in my life tremendously since our re-meeting. I am not the same person that I once was. I have held back on things in my life and altered things because of these feelings. And I have ask myself, Why is it that he means so much to you?, and I don't have a reason, he is just one of those people that is very special and dear to my heart. And I miss him so much.......
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2009
Mon, 10-19-2009 - 11:18am

Hi Princess....I can understand what you're going through. My situation is a little different, but I understand the need to talk to him. I keep saying I'm not going to talk to my AP, then I go and call him. Sometimes I do find myself taking drives just to see where his is and what he's doing.

Have you thought about talking to a counselor to get through this? There's no shame in speaking to someone who can help on a professional level.

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