I want him back

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2009
I want him back
20
Sun, 10-18-2009 - 4:48pm
It has been one year since it ended, and I am still a mess inside. Oh, how I long to hear his voice, or touch his skin. I have lost contact with him, he is no longer employed thanks to the economy. I don't know how to reach him other than calling his house and risking his wife finding out, or stalking him (which I don't really have time to do, but have considered it seriously). He was and is the love of my life, my first love, and only true love. I can't stand not having any contact what so ever. Please give me any ideas to reach him, I am desperate at this point, simply desperate.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 10-19-2009 - 2:02pm
You seem to be pinning away for a man who unfortunately doesnt feel the same or he would have made some contact in the one year NC.It sounds like a one sided A.
You want him back but does he as well? doesnt sound like.breaking up has never been easy.
I dont have ant advice but to repeat myself that if he wanted to, he knows where to find you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2008
Mon, 10-19-2009 - 11:21pm
Hi IMO find new people to be with. Pining never solved anything. I have had this in my past and i had sense to be out and about finding new friends some with benefits so I was busy and satisfied. If they came back fine,if not fine. That is the win-win. Just my thoughts!
xvra
Hornycomments.com for myspace adult comments
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Tue, 10-20-2009 - 1:52pm

WOW ! princess, how old are you now?
I wonder if you were ever able to forget this guy and fully commit to your M when all the while this guy was in your heart/mind? not judging here but this is so heart-breaking! Even if you rekindle your A , i guess you will be miserable ( sorry !).You will soon want more of him and him of you,how will you cope? wont it be hard to let go again if you stay M ? Wanting to be with your lost love but all the while staying with H,how will you stay sane ?

You will do what you want but do consider that you have had the opportunity to go NC ,why break it?feeling can fade over time.

If you still want to contact him,I would give a go at home by saying that its an interview call if the W picks up the phone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2005
Tue, 10-20-2009 - 10:32pm

Ok, I can relate somewhat to what you are going thru.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2009
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 8:39am
Thank you for the advice, but I still want him back :(. Everything that you have said makes complete sense, and I know that I am risking being hurt again and risking my M. I don't know what to do, I am stuck between what I know is right in my mind and what I feel in my heart. My heart aches for him so much. And I get the thing about putting all of this energy into my M to make it work. But I just cant let go, of him, he is so special to me. I am a complete mess and have been for a year now. You would think that it would get better but it has not. I just really don't know what I am going to do. For me this is a lose/lose situation, I know that it would not to work for us to start seeing each other again, but if I don't see him soon, I am going to lose it. I feel like some psycho, but I know that I am not, I am a highly educated professional. How could someone like me be so wrapped up in all this?? Why can't I just let it go?? It makes perfect sense to just let it all go and continue on my life as it was before he walked back into it. For some reason what makes perfect sense is the hardest for me to do. I still love him, he still has a huge part of my heart and I don't feel complete if he is not in my life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2005
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 9:18am

urprincess--I totally get that you can still feel the way you do even after year and that it is as intense as you say it is!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 9:40am

I totally agree with 'augtan13' to not try and go back to your ex.Dont let a weak moment ruin your one year of NC.you wont lose it if you dont see him or hear his voice etc.Get yourself distracted by being more involved in kids ,hobbies etc. and let this time pass.
feelings do change and fade if given a sufficient time to let go.This board is for people in A's but i would suggest not going back to the guy as you seem to be in a very vulnerable place of heart and even if you do realize the right thing,all will go out the window once the things get started again.you are emotionally all with him and now i understand why they say EA's are more dangerous.

loving someone means to give them the power to hurt you.i feel so sorry for you,augtan13.

((( hugs )))

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2008
Sat, 10-24-2009 - 9:07pm

I have read most of your posts....and I truly understand what you all mean by getting busy and use a distraction...and that her feelings will fade in time.


But...it has already been one year for her and she STILL feels this way...that's really scary for me as I don't know if I can deal with this torture for that long.


Is it really going to feel like this for a year or more????


Hang in there girl...I feel your pain--I really do.


M

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2005
Sun, 10-25-2009 - 12:24am

I know at times it seems like forever you are feeling this way, and that it will never get any better!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2008
Sun, 10-25-2009 - 10:48am

HI....


My MM doesn't have kids...he is way too selfish and self-absorbed for that i now recognize.


My MM is, as I have recently learned the hard way,

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