I was wondering

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
I was wondering
18
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 12:50pm
How does the MM feel when he has to go home to his wife and have sex with her after he had great passionate sex with me .

I don't mean right after , even if it is a day or week or more after .

Does he feel guilty ? Or maybe it doesn't bother him at all ? Does he feel board with the wife ( because the sex is maybe routine ) is he thinking about his A ( me ) while 'doing it" with the w ..............what other thoughts and feelings can go through the MM head ? If any MM out there please answer .

And also you ladies how do you face your H after you have been with your A .

xoxo ViperDiva

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 1:14pm

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 2:26pm
Mine says his W never wants to have sex so I think there's not alot going on there. But I know every once in a while there has to be something. He's told me occasionally if its happened. I don't know what that makes him feel, maybe a little guilty or something. Because sometimes we don't see each other maybe for a few weeks, although we will still talk off and on during that time. But I wonder if that's when he's feeling a little guilty about seeing me. Because then what happens sometimes is that he tells me that they did something during that time that I didn't see him.

Although he's asked me before, if I had sex at home the night before I was supposed to see him, would I still want to see him? I said "you betcha". He's the best.

My H is not interested in that anyways. Our last time together was on Xmas and before that, it was the summertime. Only one time, was I with MM in the afternoon and then H wanted to have sex that night. I did it, although I felt a little weird about it.
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 3:24pm

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 3:34pm
Iam m and have been in a affair for 3-4 months

I have great feelings for this man. We are very good friends.

I can honestly tell you that I had only been w/ my h 2 times since it started.

I was thinking of my h not the other man.

Because it is so different. So very!!!!!

I love my husband but we just do not get alone

I have 2 children w/ him I am 32 and feel like I am waisting my life away.

This other man makes me so happy. But he doesn't want anything serious he's in the middle of a nasty divorse. jj Maybe you could give me advice
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 5:12pm
I'll tell ya how my H felt when he came home to me, his W, after being with OW...Horny as hell!!! While I was tolerating my H's infidelity, I reaped the rewards in the sex department. It was almost like a contest for me. When I knew he had been with her that day, I would go out of my way to be as wild, kinky, and ultra super fantastic as my imagination could conjure up! Yeah she got him on his way to work that morning in the back seat of her car, but he got me in the kitchen, shower, patio, and the bedroom. While he was having his affair, I was having the best sex of my life!

BWE

*BWE*

I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind. ~Ed Rooney

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 7:03pm
I think you are wasting your life away if you are not happy with H . What is the point staying in a M if your not happy ? For the sake of the kids ?? Well they will grow up and leave the house and now you are older and stuck with a man you don't want . BUT , you should end a M for you , not because you want to be with another man .

I have been through this . I was 25 with one kid and not happy at all ( well my ex abused me physically I wasn't about to put up with that ) so I left . Now I am 40 although still single but very happy . Divorcing my ex was the best thing I have ever done .

One thing I don't completely understand . You say you love your husband but you don't get along . Then what type of love is that ?

Also I notice many say - I have a great marriage or I am happily married......... Well how can the marriage be great/happy if your having an A . If your having an A that means something is missing in the marriage. For me that means the marriage isn't that great/happy after all .

Maybe my opinion of a great marriage is to have it all and that is why I am still single because I can't find the one that has it all.

If sex and passion is important to you , then how can the M be great if you are lacking it ?? Or I don't know maybe there is something I don't see here , any opinions ??



Edited 2/6/2004 7:25:29 PM ET by viperdiva


Edited 2/6/2004 8:07:54 PM ET by viperdiva

xoxo ViperDiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 8:18am
I agree w/ alot of what you say. I think I am to scared $$$$

life isn't easy and right know I do as I please and my h doesn't mind that I go out. And I have money nice house drive a 40grand truck kids are in a wonderful school district

I feel selfish if I leave. Just because I am not happy W/ my sex life.

But I feel selfish having a affair. I would not really want this other M I love everything about him, but I know in my heart I would need more then he could offer on a different level. I have been married 9 years and this is the first time I did anything like this. I could count on one hand how meny OOOOO's I had in this marrige But I was so young going in I did not even know w/ a org was As I get older I feel my self changing I want more out of Life but $$$ wise I amgood to go.

He would never put his hands on me never. Will give me anything or do anything 4 me except change when it comes to sex and complments I am 5'7 127lbs blond hair blue eyes I get picked up by high school kids I mean I know I'm not ugly or fat or anything like that I am a good mother W/ more does he want. YES I tryed counciling nothing worked.

Well thanks any more info would help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2004
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 11:34am
thanks viper for your advice on the mean MM.... am going to try real hard. I will have lots of fun skiing without any man around that is for sure. Now, about this whole sex thing.... I know for sure that mean MM thinks of me cause he says sex is not important to his wife and he loves the excitement and passion also. In some weak moments when he is actually being nice.... during and after the passion ... he says over and over things like "wow" and stuff and admitted it has been the best sex he has ever had. And can he ever make noise. I have a husband who wants it every night (doesn't suceed of course) so he will try the next day and I try not to give in. The same night has not happened cause I have only been with MM very late when H is sleeping. The next morning he tried but I get out of bed very fast and tend to the kids. I try not to think of MM when I am with my husband but it happens cause I am so bored with H. I think 90% of the MM who are not having exciting sex with W's will think of the OW for sure, it can't be helped.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 5:57pm
BWE ,

I thought guys will have an A because they aren't getting enough sex at home ;-)

My MM said to me if he was getting what he wanted at home he would have never would look for something outside the M .

Did your H know that you knew he was having an A ?

and if he came home horny the OW probably wasn't that good LOL LOL

Cause I make sure my MM is "spent" !!! ;-)

xoxo ViperDiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 6:34pm
I know many stay in the marriage because kids and money .

Women for the financial security . Men well because "it is cheaper to keep her"

I think that is kind of sad , but that is probably why most people are unhappy in their M . Because they married for the wrong reasons .

My MM said he doesn't want to D his wife although he isn't happy because then he would have to give up his million dollar home .

My take on that is don't you prefer to live in half a million dollar home happy ,rather then in a million dollar home but unhappy .

Well some people may nor may not .It is a matter of what is more important for you.

Security or great sex .

Your H sounds like a good guy . He fulfills all your needs but sex . If you went to counseling I am wondering why is it that he isn't interested in sex ? is he much older then you ? Was he into the sex before the marriage , before you had kids ?

I think if you tried to make it work with him in the sex department and he still isn't interested then you don't have to feel guilty about having an A .

You are a women , you have your needs . You want to feel loved , sexy and desired and if he doesn't understand that he needs to give that to you then he shouldn't be surprised you will be looking for it elsewhere .

Like I am always blown away by wives who get so mad when they find out their H is having an A .

She has sex with the H maybe once a year if even that ......well what does she think her H is going years and years and years with no sex ......yeah right .

There is no really right or wrong answer . I guess you just have to do what feels right for you .

My take on life is that life is too short and I do things that make me happy , even if others feel I shouldn't do it .

Like my friends think it is wrong to be with a MM . Well if it isn't me , it will be someone else , so it might as well be me , ;-)

The sex I have with my MM is the best I ever had !!

But I feel it is right because I don't have a H or BF . The day I do have a H or BF this A will be over .

So what about the MM's W ?? ............ well that is her problem if she would put more effort into their sex life he wouldn't be with me in the first place . She doesn't want him in that way or she would have sex with him . She is happy raising the kid and having an H who provides her with a beautiful home , nice car , credit cards and a very comfortable life ..............Actually I feel sorry for MM , he works so hard and what does he get in return ? nothing but a boring life , work , home , play with kid , more work and goes to bed just to wake up and do that all over again . How sad ;-(

xoxo ViperDiva

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