If men don't send mixed signals, where..

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
If men don't send mixed signals, where..
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 9:47pm
do I stand?

I've read a lot of posts from men on this board, and in a nutshell they say that a guy will always let you know where you stand... not mixed signals. I guess, in my female mind, I am wondering if the sign is that overt or is it subtle.

The only obvious signal was and has been the glances and the stares... and that's only when we have seen each other 4 times in the last 4 years. (If you are unfamiliar w/my story, a ex co-worker from 3,000 miles away and I have become close via phone calls and email...)

When I send him somewhat flirtatious emails, I realize that I hold back some, because I don't want to be overly obvious. He never responds to that banter, but on the phone, there is a delightful flirtatious tone. And now, he is visiting home (in my area) next week and actually phoned me to ask if we could meet (lunch or drinks). I nearly stumbled on my words because I wasn't expecting it. We have shared this major flirtation for so long and the last time he was in the area, I remember the email. I asked him when he would be coming and he wrote back, "W and I will be there on December 20 thru 30".. (letting me know that he was coming with his wife and no chance of us getting together even for coffee!).

Now he's calling me to tell me he's coming to visit family (obviously alone) and wants to meet up. I'm thinking if he has nothing to hide (really) he would have asked me to meet he and his wife in December.

Are you guys telling me that the only way I will know for sure is if I come out and ask this guy? I'm really going crazy with this... it's such a weird feeling, and at 34, I feel 15 again. Please, your thoughts!

R