If there were no sex, would you stay?
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If there were no sex, would you stay?
| Sun, 05-09-2004 - 8:18am |
This morning I woke thinking about my MM - as usual. I have already gushed about him on this board, so I will refrain from doing it again! I can honestly say, that I like him more than just about anyone I know. He is a friend to me, very open, honest, we have so many similar interests and beliefs it is down right spooky. "If" for some reason, things never progressed to the physical level, I would be disappointed no doubt (he is very sexy in my eyes), but I could live with that. It's the person I have come to know that I adore and enjoy being around. When I'm around him, I feel so totally relaxed and free, something I'm not use to since I have lived behind "the wall" due to marial problems. To lose the friend I have some to know would be very difficult.
Do you have that type of closeness with you MM/OM/MW/OW? Do you honetly think the relationship would continue if the sex stopped?

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Sweet..you have some really good posts!
Now, he's spoken about having sex a few times, and my answer was always the same, and he's still hanging around, so... lol. It was weird, though, once we were together and we were kissing and I guess I must have been a little tense, because he all of a sudden pulled back a little and whispered in my ear, "Relax, I don't want to have sex with you. I just want to be with you and make you feel good..." and I must have gotten a really skeptical look on my face, 'cause he pulled back and he was like, "What, you think that's the only reason I'm here?"
Well--in a word--yeah, I did, lol. So it made me feel really good in a way when he was like, "No, no," and started kissing me again.
But after a while, he did start asking about it. I don't need it, and I've told him my beliefs. So far that's been working. I guess I'll stay with it as long as it works.
hope that helps with your question.
saag
If you are talking about no intercourse, then I'd have to say, most definitively I would stay and look no further. SO and I have only 'done the deed' a few times as it is, so that's not a problem. If you're talking about none of the other fun stuff, then I'd honestly say that I would keep SO and, with his blessing, find a sex buddy. He is a good bit older than me and a lot more liberal where these things are concerned, and would totally and completely understand if, for some reason, he were no longer able to keep me satisfied, I found some other outlet, so long as I continued to see him and continued to give him the priority in my life that he currently enjoys.
Lucky
I have taken things slowly, leary of getting involved with someone again, and feel he is genuine. I guess I'm at the point where I'm comfortable going deeper into this relationship. Because of the controling W, I'm going to wait for him to bring it up. He has said a few things indicating he is ready, and has said "well will take this at your pace." My only concern is he will somehow be overcome by guilt, and things will end. I would hate to lose this wonderful man I have met because of the guilts.
Also, I don't want this to turn into an A that is all about sex, and question if one or both of us will focus more on meeting for sex, compared to our little lunches and talks.
I think I'm thinking this entire thing to death!
We have had sex - often!
I miss my friend so much!!!
Of course, if we were a "true" couple, my answer would be different.
Take care
Red
And that's nuts, cause I love sex. And I met OMM on a sex site. But, when we first met, he talked alot about going very slow, and we considered keeping it a non-sexual A. He had had an A in the past in which the friendship was very rewarding, but when they finally had sex , the sex was so bad, it ruined the whole relationship. So I think he was hesitant about going through the same with me. We waited about a month. By then it was becoming clear that not having sex when the attraction between us was so strong just felt really weird. It felt inevitable.
So we did start having sex, and I'm assuming it was ok, because I told him then, sex or no sex, I'll stay, you make up your mind. And I always let him decide what we're going to do on a date. If it were my choice, we'd go to bed everytime we got together. His choice is more like every third or fourth date. But I love his company in bed and out, so I just let things unfold as they will, and it's kind of exciting that way. Now and then, we'll be on what I'm assuming is a no-sex date, and suddenly he'll say something like, "do you think this car is big enough to f#@k in?" And I'll say, "you mean, theoretically?" And he'll say, "no, I mean, immediately." Then the sex that ensues is about ten times as hot than if we planned to get our usual hotel room, etc etc.
I think the combination of a little sex and a great friendship is very lovely. But I'd take the friendship on its own if that was what was offered me.
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