if you could go back....
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| Wed, 01-21-2004 - 1:42pm |
I'm new here.... kind of surprised to find myself here, actually.
Here's the story: I'm married, my husband is away for 2-3 months at a time (this time it's been 3), and averages about 6-7 months/year total away from me. It's a long story, about his work, and we've tried to change it for years but it's really hard to find jobs in his field, and honestly, I don't think he understands how hard it is for me.
Anyway, I thought I did really well with our situation, and I know when he's home I love him so much.
But this weekend I went abroad with a single girlfriend from college, and we partied like we used to... way out of hand! I met a guy there and for the first time since I met my H 4 years ago, I felt crazy inside because I was so attracted to him- totally chemical. We tried to be good but our last night there things crossed the line and we spent the night together but didn't exactly have sex.
The next day, I was dying because I couldn't talk to him- his friends were all around and they knew I am married, and before we left I wrote "I'm sorry" on the back of my business card and slipped it to him.
I know I should feel guilty, but it was just so amazing- I haven't felt that way in so long....
Anyway, it's been 2 days, and he hasn't emailed or called. I don't know if he will, but I just want to hear from him. It's killing me! And I feel guilty about that but not enough to not want it. And if he contacts me, should I write back? What if I start something? How badly will I regret it?
So I would love to hear any advice that anyone has, and my real question is this: if you could go back to before you were fully attached to the other person, and not communicate, remain totally faithful: would you? Or is it worth it when you're so alone to have someone there, even if it's wrong?
Thanks....

Good luck to you!
Midori