If You're happy with M... then why
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If You're happy with M... then why
| Fri, 09-12-2003 - 5:32pm |
"just wondering"
=)
Edited 9/22/2003 1:47:37 AM ET by lexylew
| Fri, 09-12-2003 - 5:32pm |
"just wondering"
=)
Edited 9/22/2003 1:47:37 AM ET by lexylew
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It is far too simplistic to simply say you have a void or are unhappy, therefore you cheat. I agree that franky sounds like a BS in trying to justify it as such, or else as mental illness...lol... we are human, after all. It's not all b/w.
If I cheat on my H, do I love him any less? No. That other person brings something additional to my life, and it is up to me to decide if it is worth the risk. Everyone decides that for his/her self.
It's ridiculous to say that just because your M is lacking in one area or another, that it is necessarily unhappy, too. For example, if my M is missing sex, but is great in every other aspect, why would I walk away from the M? But on the flip side, why do I have to live without good sex? Is my M worth risking for good sex? Well, that's up to me to decide... and for those who judge, well, it's not their life. They have no idea how or why good sex might be important to me, or unimportant to H... and it's none of their business.
"Happy" is a relative term. I'm happy when I'm eating an ice cream cone. I'm happy when I finish a workout. I'm happy when I have an orgasm. But guess which one of those three I'd risk more for... ;-)
lily
=)
Edited 9/22/2003 1:50:35 AM ET by lexylew
I understand that a person can love two children with the same intensity, yet differently, or two friends, or two family members, etc. So, then, why should it be hard to understand it is possible to love two people romantically?
I'm with you in that I don't understand - how can MM love me, yet love his W. I daresay it isn't enough or the right kind of love for me, nor for his W either if she were to know. I know I love MM, I know I would be capable of loving another man if/when our A ended - but I don't know that I could love two men at the same time.
I doubt that we would ever understand, unless it we were to experience it!
Meow
I have three children. I could not make Sophie's Choice. So why can't I love two men? Giving a part of myself to one person does not take away from another. If I have two friends, but only one likes to go out bowling, do I take away from the other because I don't bowl with her? Why is my capacity to love so limited, that I can only be in love with one man? Yet why is it boundless that I can love all my children?
Our basic disagreement is that you believe one person should wholly complete another so there is no desire to fulfill a need elsehwhere...
good discussion, lexy!
lily
Edited 9/15/2003 9:13:44 AM ET by charlotte1203
Edited 6/1/2004 10:51 pm ET ET by charlotte1203
I haven't read any of the other posts yet, but I am mostly happy in my M so I just felt the need to respond.
My H is a wonderful man. He is funny, caring, great father, loves me to death. I give my family 100% of my self all the time. When he's sick I take care of him, I cook, clean, you know the "typical" wife stuff. We laugh and play together as a family. But (there's always a 'but', right?)I don't desire him the way a wife should desire her H.
Enter MM. I've known MM for 10 years. We went to college together, dated, etc. Our relationship was magical, but ended mostly due to bad timing. So after 5 years of NC, out of the blue we found each other and began talking again. Well, one thing led to another, and here we are.
I am a one person type of gal. I have never done anything like this before. I have never had more than one b/f at a time. But this is different. MM and I had a relationship before either one of us got married. We didn't figure that we'd see each other again. I never went to any alumni functions at our college for fear that I would run into him. So I tried to avoid it. But what we had was amazingly strong, and when we heard each other's voice for the first time in years, that bond came back almost immediately. If MM wasn't in the picture, there is no way I see myself having an A with someone I met after I was already married.
Great Question. Now to read the other replies......
PR
For me and MM, it was a timing issue each time we've ever gotten together. The first time, it was all about age since I was only 16 at the time, then of course...next time, we both were married and we're still married today to those say people...But there is a connection there that no one could deny, it will always be there and I will always love him, always. And I really don't think I would really want to Marry him either,,isn't that weird!! But...to have him all to myself whenever I wanted would be nice...guess that's where some of the "selfishness" comes in at...lol
I too will be so unhappy if this ever ends for any reason, which I'm sure it will. BUT, like you...I will always be thankful that I had this happen to me. That I felt love like this for another person and was lucky enough to also have it felt for me. I always say when I'm a little old lady "I'll always be able to speak of him with a sparkle in my eye and love in my heart" << and I think that's one of the most beautiful things ever.
PR
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