If You're happy with M... then why
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If You're happy with M... then why
| Fri, 09-12-2003 - 5:32pm |
"just wondering"
=)
Edited 9/22/2003 1:47:37 AM ET by lexylew
| Fri, 09-12-2003 - 5:32pm |
"just wondering"
=)
Edited 9/22/2003 1:47:37 AM ET by lexylew
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It may be addictive, but what is wrong in seeking a person who you know is your soul mate, despite the circumstances? It may not be realistic to others but it is reality for you. One man's (or woman's) reality is not another same as another, we have our own life and experiences to live (and learn).
Edited 9/15/2003 12:31:48 PM ET by charmed1007
I read some of the responses, and you can put me squarely with those who say that, just as it's possible to love all your children equally but differently, it's also possible to love two men equally but differently. And be happy with both, to boot.
However, that doesn't address the *real* question, which is, why did you get *into* an affair if you're happy. You can fall in love, but it takes time to get from infatuation or attraction to love. So why *start* to begin with?
In my case, I had a dramatic experience that had to do with 9/11. It coincided with another event, which led to seeing someone I'd known for years in a different light. I also realized how incredibly valuable and joyful and beautiful our time on earth is NOW. Going forward, I kept asking myself, "Why am I doing this?" and the answer was always the perfectly selfish, "Because I like it." I also kept asking myself, "Have my feelings changed about DH? Am I missing something?" Well, no and no.
I very much doubt I would have another affair. The relationships I have already overwhelm me most days. I don't even have time for new friends, let alone new lovers.
All I can say is that someone that I liked and respected turned out to be even more interesting than I'd thought, and that there was a spark between us, and it felt good to be admired and considered wildly attractive even though I have lots of kids and am "of a certain age." That's the only thing there was at first. Now, of course, I love him deeply, and that feeling is returned, and I haven't taken any love away from my DH in order to love my OM. But my motivations for starting this were completely selfish, and to say anything else would be dishonest.
BTW, OM would say exactly the same thing on his end - that as wonderful as our relationship is, we cannot justify it - though he would probably point out that society's definition of marriage is ridiculously narrow - however, that is not his wife's viewpoint, nor does it reflect the vow he made.
Are you asking this question because you are wondering where your MM might be coming from emotionally? If so, you are never going to get the answers by asking US why WE would be involved in an EMA although happily married. The answer must come from HIM.
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