Im back... and I want this to end.
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| Mon, 08-02-2010 - 5:47am |
Hi all
Well I had my hysterectomy on Wednesday and home on Saturday. Feeling pretty sore but definately on the mend. My H has been amazing- so fantastically supportive and just great as my nurse, family chef, family driver/organiser etc.
Compare that to AP who was overseas for nearly 3 weeks before I went in to hospital and arrived back the day after nmy op. He sent very few texts the first two weeks he was gone, but I think this was alogistics issue as he started to send more (and also called me) in the few days before I went into hospital.
He sent a few nice texts while I was in hospital and he called me today.
But I dunno- this is so not working for me.
His texts, while initaited by him, are nice and some are sweet, are sending my mind into overdrive. I must read them 10 times Id say. Then I analyse it big time. Today I sent a few texts this arvo and then even said could you send me something nice because i missed you so much. That was at 1. At 6 he sent 'Good night, only just finished, Kisses'.

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not sure i'd read that book titled "why good people have affairs" in the house with the H.
i feel for you re: the health issues, and having the H come around again, and appreciating him more for it, and then feeling guilty for wanting to see/be with ap, too. truthfully, i just sent an email note to my ap last week telling him i should beg off, that my h has been wonderful during these past few weeks of me being off work, and on crutches, etc... etc... i have felt exactly as u do. but then i think, if i could fully disclose the pain i am truly in, i feel like ap would meet the call. it's just that i do not want to upset my family life. i am not strong enough (emotionally or financially)
.......We did see each other briefly over the weekend with our spouses for dinner. We usually sit next to each other so we can touch under the table.............
tears_on_my_guitar , I think the real pleasure you get is because of the excitement of fooling your spouses so artfully while sitting right next to them .
Did you say your MM is your H's friend ? Wouldn't that be misuse of the word "friend ". It seems your H is in for two shocks.
Best of luck
Hi everyone
Thanks for all your advice. He text this morning 'Hello Princess, was flat out yesterday. How are you?'
Im tossing up what to do. I wanted to not respond until late tomorrow- and I think I am strong enough to do that. Its not to play games with him (well maybe I dont mind him seeing a bit of inattention- I always respond immediatey to him).
But mostly I wont respond immediately because if this A is going to make me happy, I have to stop focussing on it so much. Stop obsessing and stressing about it. So I'll see if paying it less attention does that. If not I'll have to end it.
Gosh its so hard not to respond immediately. UGH
Best player, I am following suit like many others on here and will be hitting you with the "ignore" button. I am letting you know so you don't waste any more of your time responding to my posts.
"CLICK"
POOF THERE GOES BESTPLAYER!
Byebye!
Love it!
IGS, glad you finally heard from him. I'm still waiting, since Friday. I will not be the first to contact him. I'm here instead, venting.
I noticed that someone posted that AP is too comfortable in our relationship. I have to totally agree. I've told him that I love him and will do whatever is needed to keep him as my lover and friend. He's the one who keeps me guessing all the time. Perhaps it's time for him to wonder.
I've come to the realization that I either need to stop the affair completely or stop the obsessive focus on it/him. Either thing will be very difficult. But this affair, the way it is now, is destroying me, making me into someone I don't like. I think AP and I need to have a heart to heart. This is as much his relationship and decision as it is mine.
hahaha bugger off jane- Im an open book on this site :) Think many of us are cut from the same cloth.
Well bad news is I text him a few hours later. Good news is I kept it short and didnt invite a response 'Doing better thanks, hope your day goes well'. Im not expecting a response anytime soon. Annoying because when he caled Monday he said I'll talk to you tomorrow. (Its now wed arvo so the daily phone calls arent happening :(
Ok Tears- (and anyone else in the same boat) how do we let go of the obsession?
"Ok Tears- (and anyone else in the same boat) how do we let go of the obsession?"
I think a big step in letting go of the obsession is being able to identify why you're obsessed to begin with: Why did you begin an A?
anotherseyes
Great point AE. I'll read that book 'Why Good People Have Affairs' and see what I come up with. It looks like it gives reasons and offers counter options.
Iggy xx
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