Im back... and I want this to end.
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| Mon, 08-02-2010 - 5:47am |
Hi all
Well I had my hysterectomy on Wednesday and home on Saturday. Feeling pretty sore but definately on the mend. My H has been amazing- so fantastically supportive and just great as my nurse, family chef, family driver/organiser etc.
Compare that to AP who was overseas for nearly 3 weeks before I went in to hospital and arrived back the day after nmy op. He sent very few texts the first two weeks he was gone, but I think this was alogistics issue as he started to send more (and also called me) in the few days before I went into hospital.
He sent a few nice texts while I was in hospital and he called me today.
But I dunno- this is so not working for me.
His texts, while initaited by him, are nice and some are sweet, are sending my mind into overdrive. I must read them 10 times Id say. Then I analyse it big time. Today I sent a few texts this arvo and then even said could you send me something nice because i missed you so much. That was at 1. At 6 he sent 'Good night, only just finished, Kisses'.

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Phew- I thought you would give me a hard time :)
Arvo is Australian slang for afternoon. So I would say to you 'see you this arvo' etc. We Aussies love our slang :)
I tell you this man drives me nuts. He called today, nice chat. I said do you realise we have been seeing each other nearly 18mths? I guess I wanted to see if he was thinking it was coming to its natural end - which would upset me but would have to be better than channelling Sybil the way I do.
Anyway he said 'Yes its fantastic isnt it, many many many more months to come I hope'.
Arrgh.
Anyway he said he was frantically busy (he really is but I dont know why he chooses to live that way) and he wont be able to call/text tiomorrow. So he gave me advance notice- but why continue with this if he is so busy?
Pass me a chocolate....
Passing some chocolates to Igs~~~>
Yeah, go ahead and bust on me, too, ladies. I caved and sent him an email yesterday. It was actually just a silly forward, but he responded. His response was as if NOTHING is wrong. I don't email you for 4 days and nothing is up???? This man can't be that clueless, can he? Anyway, I sent a short response to which he did write back. I am tempted to reply again but I left it at that.
I know AP is busy, too. I really wish he would/could take the time to let me know that he's swamped and won't be in touch for a few days. That's just common consideration. I have asked him to but I think he prefers to just drop off the face of the earth for a while.
Aargh, why do we continue to put up with this from these men? BTW, we've been together for over 4 years now. I had to sit and figure that out. Can it really be that long?
I truly believe that so long as we accept certain behaviors from our AP's, they will continue to act in ways we don't like.
A couple of months ago, I flat out told AP that unless he was home with his family, there was absolutely no reason he couldn't at the very least send a quick email/text saying "Super busy but wanted to say hi" or something.
anotherseyes
Hi AE
Thats great advice and
well the problem is that by hitting me with ignore still doesn't keep you (tear_on_my_guitar) from writing posts like " touching Ap's under table while sitting with your spouse " which I simply find dumb .
But it's not the best he can do, Iggy.
anotherseyes
Ok well I sort of went your way AE
I text him today and said I know you are busy but could you take a minute to tell me what you thought of my story yesterday- it would mean a lot. Just an 'x' will do :) (The story was a rude text that he asked me for).
So he would have seen that as asking for contact today despite him saying that he is way too busy to text today. Im sure he'll be annoyed.
I'm between two feelings now....
1) Did I just push him too far? Will he end it now? Will I beat myself up about that for years to come? I can handle it ending but not if I facilitated it.
2) If he does crack it over that- and end it- well then honestly sod him! He asked for the naughty text and couldnt even say thanks. If he sees that as a reason to end it- sod him.
Im a softy though and probably would self-flagullate myself over the first scenario for a while. Until I realise that if he ends this- I may actually be better off.
Ok so now I have all weekend to wonder what he's thinking- great! Another weekend of that. Maybe it is better if he realises I want more than he thinks is fair and then ends it.
Do you think daily contact (m-F) is fair??
Do I think daily contact (m/f) is fair? ....yep, I sure do.
I'm with AE on this one Iggy ...I had this same issue with OM and the only way to deal with it IMO is to tell him how it is. Why is this man annoyed at you for contacting him??? It should not be like that Iggy. HE wants this too and you need to recognise the value you hold for him. Stand your ground. It was the best thing I ever did....for ME. You will feel better about yourself for doing it regardless of his response.
Take care Iggy ...how's the recovery going?
Oooops forgot the chocolates! ---------> ;-)
Bird!
Thanks Bird, you made me feel better. Recovery going well but still feeling tired and sore. But definately better each day. H and kids have been amazing.
I think AP will be annoyed that I texted today. He may end it- which may not be a bad thing considering how miserable this thing makes me lately.
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