I'm back and still confused.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2008
I'm back and still confused.
3
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 10:33am

I was here a few months back due to an A I was having with a co-worker.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2007
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 12:24pm
Don't do this. If you don't want to lose your standing in this company, in your job, then separate yourself from this coworker. He already knows about the previous coworker, and chances are this story will get out to other guys you work with. You will become fodder for gossip. The A you had with the previous guy didn't work out. You already used your one opportunity to engage with someone on the job. If you do it again, you will end up with a reputation. Well, you already did it. But I'd suggest you end it now. This can only hurt you in the long run.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 6:43pm

Sounds like you've gone from the frying pan right back into the fire. I'm sorry, but I seem to have missed just what it is that you're confused about. I mean, you've had one affair with a coworker that wasn't so great in the end, so what is it you're looking for with this one? Because you just hopped from one to the other. Meanwhile, you've got a husband at home. Where does he fit into all of this? Are you unhappy in your marriage? I would have to think so if you're already involved in another affair. My advice to you is to put a stop to this and figure out what's really going on with you. Why are you doing this? Are you a sex addict? Love addict? Addicted to the attention, the "high", the thrill? Are you seeking validation for you as a woman, a person and this is the avenue you take in order to get it? Are you bored? Do you just not believe in fidelity, monogamy (if so, maybe you need to let your husband in on this)? There's got to be something going on, and only you, perhaps with the help of a professional, can figure it out. Which I have to say, if you value your marriage and family, I suggest you do sooner rather than later. Because every time you go down this road, you run the risk of being discovered.

One other thing to think about....I would not be AT ALL surprised if this guy saw the fact that you would mess around with the other guy as an indication that if he pursued it, you'd probably do the same with him. He may very well have been masquerading as a caring, noble chap when all he really wanted was to get in your pants.

Things to think about Dreamz.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2008
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 7:42am
Thanks for the replies.