I'm in Deep trouble.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2003
I'm in Deep trouble.....
3
Mon, 08-18-2003 - 6:01pm
Hi everyone, I haven't been on this board in months and I really need to stay here. I've gone and done something terrible.

Quick update..new name cause I cannot remember my old one. I'm married, have DD at home and DH stays at home as well. I am now the sole breadwinner of the family for the past three months and have been having an affair with a great guy who is married as well and wants out of his marriage badly. We live a few hours apart and see each other about every month to every two months. We love each other alot, but I also still love my DH and don't want to hurt him.

Here's the bad thing...I just found out this week that I am pregnant by MM. I know it is his because my DH had a vasectomy last year and we haven't been sleeping together for awhile now. We used protection (I was on the pill!!!) and it was three weeks ago that MM was up here and we saw each other. I am so torn apart, I do not know what to do. I have been breaking down, feeling like -censored- for having hurt my DH like this. I have yet to tell MM about this. I'm seeing him this weekend to tell him. I do not know how he is going to take this. He's told me before he's imagined having kids with me. I need help, I am so torn. I realized I do not want to lose my DH, but I will if he finds out about this.

Has anyone else been in this kind of situation? I'm about in tears right now over this and I am here at work completely scatter brained.

Help me, someone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-18-2003 - 8:01pm
I don't think I can offer much help, but wanted to let you know that I read your post and I do hope you can work your way to a solution that helps everyone move forward. Unless you plan on terminating the pregnancy, you have to tell both men. And frankly, at that point, what you lose and what you don't is completely up to how they choose to react.

Stay strong, take care of yourself first. At this point, it's all you *can* do.

Good luck and keep us posted.

-lily

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Mon, 08-18-2003 - 10:05pm
I agree, unless you are going to terminate your pregnancy, you have to tell both men, and if you do love your H, maybe he'll work things out with you. He may want a divorce but after the dust settles he may forgive you and want to work it out with you.

You need to decide whats best for you first.. do you want to stay with your H? OR do you maybe want a D and be with your MM?

Let us know what happens, whatever you do we'll be here for you. =)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2003
Tue, 08-19-2003 - 12:24pm
Thanks for your words of wisdom. I'll know more for myself this weekend after I talk to OM. I'm not making any decisions until then.

Thanks again!