I'm doing it....I'm filing

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
I'm doing it....I'm filing
63
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 10:22am
My H and I had a big fight last night...the final straw, so to speak. He is a very angry, domineering person and can be quite cruel to me and the kids. His anger has gotten to the point where I am almost afraid to be around him. My stomach knots up just thinking about going home to face him tonight. I'm going to play it cool for a few days in order to retain an attorney, find an apartment, and arrange to have a day off work to get everything moved. I'm even going to have the papers served while I'm moving out in order to have a police officer at my house in case he shows up. I'm even going to try to obtain a restraining order against him because of his anger. Have any of you ever gone through this type of situation? My MM is very supportive of me...he knows I am doing this for me and the kids...he knows it's not for him. But in him, I have found a wonderful listener and a person with the background and education to give me good advice. If I didn't have him right now, it would be so easy to fall apart. I am grateful for each of you, as well. Thank you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 11:29am
They sure do. But there really is some helpful information on that site. In any case wouldn't hurt to look.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 11:32am
Yeah, I am sure it would hurt to look. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 12:43pm
Thanks, Boston for the link. I'm in Georgia and we are a no-fault state, which is helpful. But mental and emotional abuse will be the primary reason for my divorce. And Juliet is right...it does hurt to look (so to speak). The info is invaluable, but my heart is breaking even though I don't love H anymore. Why do I feel like throwing up? I am so stressed out....it's going to get much harder, I know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 1:23pm
Hard as hell and takes forever to get over. Even if you've been waiting for this divorce for years and want it more than anything. Still makes you feel like crap. Hang in there. I understand your man is being supportive. That's great. Believe me, getting through this knowing that someone cares for you is by far better than having to face it alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2004
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 1:49pm


Yes, it gets harder and you need to prepare yourself to fight. We don't like to think of ourselves that way. It is much easier on our ego to think that everyone will just support us and things will be fair.

They won't.

Even though you just want out, and you need to be out, get everything you can for your kids. Your STBX will be around, probably causing grief, for years. You need room to maneuver, and that starts now.

Be tough. We'll be here for you. He may rant and cause trouble, but believe me, its better to fight now and have something to work with later than to just walk away from everything and still have to fight later.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Cazrida

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 2:40pm
My H is not a very large guy (5'-8"), but my MM is pretty big (6'-4"...220 lbs) and is former military. Very good shape...very strong. He has already told me he'd better not find out about my H hurting me during all of this. Of course, he'd never do anything...he wouldn't put himself in trouble - I wouldn't let him, but the chivalry does not go unnoticed.

I know I am in for a big fight. I do have a lot of support and it will take TONS more just to get through this. I'm hoping to start postings soon to let you know that my deposit's down on the apartment....the paper's have been served....I've moved out....I'm cuddling with my kids watching cartoons knowing that H isn't going to come in screaming, yelling and berating us anymore. Who cares if we're eating macaroni and cheese all the time? It'll be happy macaroni and cheese!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 3:23pm
Listen, if this helps to get your mind off things and make you smile - your description of your man matches my own appearance 100%. Please tell me that you are around 5'4", petite and slim. And please tell me that you feel very secure with him.

I am drawing a parallel here, you understand, don't you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 4:16pm
yeah, yeah make us big boned sistas feel "big" with your praising of your petite OW. I'll forgive you for we all like you here. I am kidding. I find it funny that men feel so protective of their women whether they are little or not. Just ask my OM..... :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 4:39pm
How funny you sound like my MM and I am just how you described your OW!Escept he is still military. And oh so sexy in his fatigues!!! LOL!! He knows i luv to see him in them so he has them on sometimes when he is getting his kids. Anyways NRY, hang in there, I'm going thru the same thing you are and its nice to know that we have so many people to help us.



Hot

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 5:03pm
Ha Ha...yes, that sounds like me...I also have brown hair and brown eyes. And you know, the funny thing is all the men I've ever dated have been slightly short..not much taller than I am. My MM is the biggest guy (meaning stature...he's very physically fit) I've ever been with. And yes, he makes me feel very secure. I feel very feminine and safe with him.

You are too funny, boston! (((HUGS)))

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