Im letting go of MM

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2003
Im letting go of MM
2
Mon, 10-20-2003 - 3:45am
Hey everybody, well i just wanted everyone to know that i am calling it quits with MM, the reason why i have come to this decision is b/c ever since we started our ema, i have always been the one reaching out to him, we used to work together and i was the one who would always have to put the effort into seeing each other. He would always say we would get together and talk since we couldnt at work, so we would go and spend hours talking and then i would drive an hour back home. We saw each other maybe a day out of the month. Well our boss found out that we were seeing each other and that put a damper on things, we didnt talk for a month and his reason was b/c i was flirting with other guys at work and he didnt like it, well the reason why i was doing that was to get his attention and i guess u can say it worked. he started coming back around and we were back into our relationship again. MM told me when we started this that he wanted something that was stable, he did not want to be married to his W and that he loves her but isnt in love with her and the only reason he is staying is for his son who's only 2 years old. Well MM and I are in the same situation, we are staying in our M's for our children. MM told me the reason why he didnt talk to me was also b/c we needed a cooling point in our relationship, also he was scared that he would lose his job b/c our boss knew, but we denied it and she dropped it. He never once informed me of this, he just left me guessing and so i decided at that time to let him go but once again he came back into my life. Well things are different now, i lost my job where we both met at and also worked at and so i knew that it was over for us, i called him and let him know that i just lost my job and that i guess it was over between us and MM said that he still wanted us to continue to see each other so i started calling him and we would meet up on his day off to talk and etc. I am just tired of having to do all the work in our ema. I call him-he never calls me, i drive an hour to see him-MM has never once came to my town to see me. I email and IM MM and he hardly does that. I just feel so worn out over all the work i have to do. I feel MM is taking me for granted and i am sick of it, dont get me wrong i do love MM with all my heart but i just feel that he doesnt care, he knows i will call him and come see him. I have asked MM why he doesnt call and he tells me b/c of my H but that's a cope out b/c my H is at work and he knows this. I just feel lately like he is just pushing away from me. H wont open up to me, he has never said "he loves me", i feel like i am being used for the sex, i mean i used to think that he cared and felt the same but that he was too scared to tell me how he feels but now i am seeing everything clearly now. I am just a piece of butt to him and he is being selfish, so i have decided that it's over, no more going back to him. I just want yall to know that it hurts really badly knowing that i spent all this time in this ema when i knew all along it would end soon. I hope you gals find happiness and love in your lives, just dont settle for less like i did.

lots of love

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Mon, 10-20-2003 - 7:39am
i'm so sorry you are hurting...& you know...i suppose we are all settling for less.many of us anyway.
Avatar for mikkolover
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Mon, 10-20-2003 - 8:40am
i just want to say congratulations for being strong enough to let him go. Its hard and draining to put all your effort into something that wouldn't be there if it wasn't for you, and you have been so wise to see it now. Hopefully more of us can see that before then sex, before the love, before it all starts hurting too much..