I'm Losing It!
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I'm Losing It!
| Mon, 08-25-2003 - 4:32pm |
So, it had been a few weeks, but we met up on Saturday. We spent several hours together and had an amazing time. I was hoping he'd come by Sunday morning before I checked out of the room, but he didn't...and he didn't call either. I couldn't stop thinking about our relationship all day yesterday. I decided I was going to try to get him out of my mind and move on because I am a single, very good looking girl and I don't need to be messing with fire! Besides, we don't communicate very well anyway and I don't think that I could continue being the OW. Well...I went down to get my packages from our mail room and while I was in the elevator I thought to myself "wonder if I'll see him in passing today." It's not often that we do, unless it's deliberate. But, the elavator stopped on his floor and my heart dropped! He stepped in and I was so happy to see him. I know he was happy to see me too. I've tried so hard to keep my emotions in check, but I think I'm starting to develop feelings for him (or atleast I'm finally able to admit it to myself). I knew it was inevitable, but didn't think it would be so soon. I just wish I knew how he felt. We've been at this since April. I am definately not going to bring the subject up.
I feel better already. I just needed to get that out. I am soooo greatful for this board! I read all of your posts and get comfort knowing that I'm not alone in this. Thank You! :)

Finding those feelings is never easy... but I suer understand where you are coming from. MM and I have been seeing one another for over 3 years now... and just before Christmas last year... I finally admitted to myself that I had allowed myself to fall in love with him... something I hadn't wanted to do as we are both married and neither want to leave our marriages... but to finally admit it to myself was great for me... I could then start working things through and how to deal with this before I take it to him.
I've worked things through for myself... but I've yet to tell MM how I feel... I will get there... but I'm just laying foundations and making sure the timing is right. I'm not scared about anything... I just want to do it right.
and I'm glad you were able to feel better by just posting... I know this board had been my lifesaver on more than one occassion.
luv and hugs
Sweet
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My