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| Thu, 02-19-2004 - 3:26pm |
Here's my story:
I haven't been all that happy in my marriage. I married at 16 yrs. old. My H was a womanizer and I thought it would stop once we married. Well it didn't. I went through a lot with him. I just never did catch him until about 3 years ago. He swore it would never happen again although he still doesn't have my trust. And because I loved him with all my heart, I forgave him.
Well, ever since then I've lost the love for him, slowly. Well, this that I'm about to tell, has made things worse. He went out of town for Thanksgiving to spend it with his family and I spent it with mine. I went out and bumped into a friend of ours, which is how I always saw him (he's single). Well, he tells me he always seen me as very attractive and blah, blah, blah. He kisses me. Tells me to call him. Well I don't, although I do think about what happened a lot.
My H goes out of town again for Christmas and I stay. Cannot take off of work. Well, I decide to go out again but only after I talk to him on the phone and he says he went out the night before. Gets me mad, so I take off. Who do I bump into again? (Destiny or what?) He tells me that he thought I had regretted the kiss between us. I said no and so we see each other but only kissed. Well we continue to talk on the phone and one day we set up a date, see each other and have IC. He is the sweetest person and I feel great around him. I love talking to him. And I have absolutely no complaints about his skills.
Well, now when I have IC with my H I think about him. I don't like having IC with my H. He doesn't turn me on or has he in a long time.
For the last year I've been thinking about leaving my H. Well, I finally get the guts to tell him about 2 weeks ago (told him that I don't love him) and he cried and promised to act even better and pay more attention to me, he did a 180 on me, promised to not be violent anymore, etc. So I stay. I felt sorry for him. Not that I want to be with OM, just want time for myself.
Well, says he keeps thinking of what I told him and last night said he was leaving and I said don't. I keep thinking I'm doing the wrong thing.
Being with the OM has made me think about my life and how I am not happy. I don't love OM but I do have certain feelings for him. He's a real good friend. I wouldn't leave H for OM. We already had many problems.
Although, I'm giving H another chance it doesn't feel right but then splitting up doesn't either (maybe because I feel sorry for H). Well he didn't feel sorry for me all the times he cheated and made me feel less than. Please give me advice. I feel like I'm staying just to make him feel better but I don't. I know my little girl will be devasted if we split. I'm scared, confused, sad and even feel depressed.

hi confused and welcome to the board, honey.
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board
H has in the past been violent with me but it's gotten better and when I spoke to him 2 weeks ago, promised it wouldn't happen anymore, but if he as so much tries to hurt a hair of mine, then it's definitely over.
Well as for OM, he has made me realize that I'm worth a whole lot more and how many men out there would love to have a women such as me. You know as I read in the other posts, I've lost weight, taking more care of my self, etc.
I plan to continue with OM as long as I feel happy with him. Who know where it'll lead.
Again, thank for your wonderful advice.
just be careful about the A, your H may be watching you extra-carefully.
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board