IM PREGNANTAND ITS NOT MY HUBBY'S

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2009
IM PREGNANTAND ITS NOT MY HUBBY'S
19
Thu, 03-12-2009 - 5:25pm

I HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH A DISTANT FRIEND OF MY HUBBY'S WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
Thu, 03-12-2009 - 5:32pm
You are definitely at cross roads, and cross roads are nothing but trouble. I am sorry I don't have any good advice, but simply to say hang in there. If I may ask is the AP also married?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2009
Thu, 03-12-2009 - 6:35pm

no he isnt married and to be honest he has no idea that im pregnant im afriad to tell him becuase i just dont wnat any of my hubbys friedns to find out even tho we promised to never say anything about what happend that night


my hubby loves his friends so much we moved to the city where all his

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
Thu, 03-12-2009 - 7:39pm
Hopefully there are some women here who dealt with a similar situation and will be willing to give you some pointers. Do you think you can handle to keep the secret to yourself and not telling H that it is not his? Will he be suspicious? Any professional advice or service that you can be of help for you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Thu, 03-12-2009 - 8:04pm

Unless you know for certain just when this child was conceived, how can you be sure it's not your husband's? You mention only a 2 1/2 week window, and it seems to me that's not enough time to rule out your husband as the father. You said that you only had a one night stand. Just for the record, that's not really an affair in my book. It's a one night stand. So if you only had sex with the guy once, but were having it pretty regularly before the one night stand, it may very well not be his.

Abortion is not something to be taken lightly. I think aborting a child just because you don't want to get caught in a betrayal of your husband would be an extremely poor reason to have one. And I am very much pro choice. But that's me. You have your own values. Have you been to the doctor? I don't know. I wouldn't give up hope on who the father is, unless you weren't sexually active with your husband for, say, a month, and you're like 3 weeks pregnant or something.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2009
Thu, 03-12-2009 - 8:12pm

i know i can keep the secret as terribly deep this hole im in is...but as for suspicions i have done soooooo much for my hubby endured alot of thinngs like finding numbers and talking to whores that say the did stuff had sex with him from even emotinal and verbal abuse and regardless have been there for him and this is the first time i ever cheated on him EVER! So he knows i aint gonna go anywhere and that my love will always be there becuase he has told me he knows he has nothing to worry about which is why he has probably walked over me in certain situations.


Becuase of the

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2009
Fri, 03-13-2009 - 12:16am

all the thoughts that are going through your head will kill you. REALLY, you will become sick from the stress. First of all, ur hubby will know it's not his cause u haven't had sex when the baby was conceived.


Just come out with it. It will eventually. Don't kid urself. the truth always comes out. Just tell him the truth. You were drinking cause u were upset. The friend took advantage of you and u r pregnant. He may hate you and divorce you. Are you prepared to be a single mom? At this point, u need to ask yourself what is more important to you? Having a child that doesn't belong to your hubby and probably raising it yourself or having the abortion and still risking losing ur hubby. Either way, he must know. Maybe if he really loves you and really wants a kid, may stay and raise the kid together but that is a long shot.


what about this other guy; does he know u r pregnant? does he care for u the least bit? or was it just a night of fun and wants nothing to do with u? that's another issue. he must know too.


Just say the truth. They both may hate you and leave you but at least you let it out and will grieve for a while for commiting this sin but time will heal your wound and maybe this child will bring happiness to your life, even if it is just the two of you.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2006
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 8:49am

As far as hiding it, it's not as easy mentally as u might think. Luckily mine looks somewhat like H, but it does sometime

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 11:12am

Just my 2 cents


I wouldnt keep the baby, you run the risk of losing your husband and what if the other guy doenst want a relationship let alone a baby.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2004
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 1:22pm
I am sure that you realize in today's medical advances that treatments are becoming more and more tailored to DNA. This will become more and more prevalent in the future. The truth will eventually come out....therefore the time for it to come out is now. The devastation and betrayal will be less now than years down the road. JMHO!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2009
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 1:54pm

I was in this situation. And I agree, somewhat, that the truth WILL come out.


I had an Affair in November, found out I was pregnant in December, with twins.

Katie--

Mama to Alyse (5-12-05) and soon-to-be baby (e.d.d. 10-25-10)

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