I'm so brokenhearted
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I'm so brokenhearted
| Tue, 12-09-2008 - 4:29pm |
LEt me start off by saying that it was brief but wonderful.
I am divorced 4 years now
| Tue, 12-09-2008 - 4:29pm |
LEt me start off by saying that it was brief but wonderful.
I am divorced 4 years now
Hi aja,
I just wanted to commiserate. My AP/BF (we've been together 16 months) is pretty thoughtless and cruel at times. At the beginning of the R he told me many beautiful things, things like he thinks about me 24/7, he worries about me constantly, he's even alluded to leaving his W but in thinking back I've realized that it's all been said while he's three sheets to the wind, shall we say. Regardless, he used to spend a TON of time with me...sometimes 3-4 days out of a week. Yes, that was back when he was working in town and now he's working three hours away but...he's invited me to the job site twice. The first time we stayed in his little camper and the second time we rented a hotel. Since then things have cooled off somewhat. I was on holiday for a couple of weeks but we kept in touch (read my post in Vent). Now everything seems to have changed once again. I found out while on vacation that he's been at home a lot, and the week that I came home he did too, and was going to be in town for at least a full week...so why doesn't he want to be with me more than 1 1/2 days? Why has he done and said all the things he's done and said and then not want to be with me? We had a "discussion" about it..it did not go well but he sent me a text the next day to tell me that he does want to be with me and he's sorry that he's so unreliable...WTH?
Anyhow, I'm starting to think that most of them (not all but most) are jerks..just like my sister keeps telling me. What I want to know, more than anything is...how many more times am I going to feel like he's kicked me in the teeth before I find my self respect and send him packing? It's a question we all must ask eventually and I'm very sorry that you're in pain too. It's hurtful and I wish they felt empathic, at the very least!
Take care of yourself and keep busy, that's what I'm trying to do!
benska
aja, i'm having a hard nite tonite too, for some reason. Just thinking about him, wondering where he is, what he's doing, and picturing him out with his GF, or having sex wtih his GF is literally driving me NUTS! I broke down in the car coming back from the gym today...He never makes time for me anymore, and when i think i've just about had it with being used, he comes back in, saying sweet things, and sweetalks me into having him over.
and like benksa said (which is a great advice/venting post, and i'm very sorry you are going thru this too), how many more times do we have to get kicked down to find our self-respect. I do respect myself, but when it comes to him, its like my whole body turns to jelly and i get the butterflies and feel like a kid, even when i'm p*&sed off at him, my respect goes right out the door with my spine.
and yes, keeping yourself busy DOES help in ways. I find when i go to my parents outta town for a weekend, i don't think about him. its when i'm at home, alone after my daughter is in bed, I get sad and thinking about him. Mind u i do think about him probably 15 out of the 16
HI all and thank you so much for your support.
Well hi Carried!
And thanks...you know I agree and thank you a lot for your thoughtful input...I tend to overrreact....he did call me today...the problem is I know I am falling in love with him and feel very needy at the moment but I am trying to take a step back -- and you are right - but I still can't understand why I can't se ehim for just one night...he told me today that he has studio sessions he is working on but that he won't have time for about another 2 weeks.
That makes my brain go from feeling
Hi Carried....
You are like a kindred spirit to me...thank you so much.
Hi Carrie
Yes you are right about the problems of being with a musician - but Prince Charming never arrived at my door so I keep on keeping on until he gets here!!! There is no nirvana experience with any of 'em but I like mine just now....last night I saw an aquaintance of mine a girl named Sara who I would say is around 25-35 with her date a