I'm still here and stuck in my EMA
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I'm still here and stuck in my EMA
| Thu, 10-09-2003 - 12:03pm |
I have posted a couple of times about my on-again-off-again EMA for the last five years with a coworker. I am white and he is black. I am married with teenagers. He is divorced, no kids, but raised several stepchildren. OM and I were intimate early in our EMA, only twice. He wanted to end the intimacy and just be friends. Well, we have just been friends now for almost 5 years. We go back and forth. We'll talk awhile and get close and then he backs away. I try to be close to him and talk to him, but it's like he has this wall built and refuses to let me break it down. I try to do things for him to let him know that I care. I ALWAYS tell him that I love him when I talk to him. He'll tell me that he loves me too, but that is as far as it goes. We have talked about a future together, but nothing definite. He pretty well knows I don't want to leave my marriage until my last teenager is grown which is another year. OM dates women, but I haven't see him in a serious relationship yet. He won't even talk to me about his dates. He always acts like it is no big deal. I feel in my heart that he really loves me and wants something more permanent out of me, but part of me is still not sure. He tells me he loves me with no problems, but yet he won't kiss me, touch me, and only comes near me when he has to for business reasons. This is very frustrating. I know that he is trying to do the right thing because I am still married, but I guess I want him to come right out and tell me what he wants, does he want me to get a divorce, or does he not ever want there to be anything between us. He doesn't like talking to me about this because I am married. I know that I am fencesitting, but I want him to tell me what he really wants. You ladies have given me good sound advice before and I need it again. Thanks!

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i do remember your previous posts though. he may have stepped back because of the racial issue you talked about previously.
another possibility is that he is waiting for you to be finished with your M before he makes a move forward with you.
unfortunately, i do think he just wants to be friends and any thoughts of an A or future with him are finished for the two of you.
good luck whatever happens,
gurl