impotence but not with you...
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impotence but not with you...
| Mon, 03-08-2004 - 5:33am |
I was wondering if anyone has ever heard of a man being impotent with everyone else but one person. If so, what does it mean? I want to hear your views on this.

CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board
Edited 3/8/2004 11:43 am ET ET by julietsfate
While I haven't actually been through this, I can understand it. When my W has tried to instigate sex in the last few months I've generally tried to avoid it. While I'm not exactly "unable" it generally isn't something I want to do, and if I could find that switch that turned me into a cold jerk I would just stop altogether.
Maybe I'm a little too sensually cognizant. Even though I know that sex isn't what it once was with her, I see she does have some need to be close to someone and I'm the only person she's with. I'd feel really guilty just rejecting her despite the fact that a sex life that was once a solid "7" is now a "3" on average.
In addition sexuality changes depending on experience and partners. For me at least, I seem to reinvent my sexuality with whomever I'm seeing. I'm wired for sex with the OW now, and it's pretty close to what my perfect ideal of sex has always been. The truth is that there's just no way to be stirred sexually by my W as I once was; any contact with her is affection, not passion. And given a long enough period of time, I suspect that I would eventually have difficulty obtaining the necessary state to participate at even that level.
PS: I know what you mean by "wired" to do it somebody you love, raining. I am that way too, I cannot have sex with my H sometimes because I am not that wired to him.
Edited 3/11/2004 11:49 am ET ET by julietsfate