impotence but not with you...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
impotence but not with you...
7
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 5:33am
I was wondering if anyone has ever heard of a man being impotent with everyone else but one person. If so, what does it mean? I want to hear your views on this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 10:10am
Well, I have heard of it but wish I understood more about how that can be. I know my MM has prostate issues - he is at an age where that begins. He has indicated that he has trouble with W but not with me. I don't really like to talk about his sex life with W, especially because he's clearly upset how this prostate thing affects his relationship with her. I'm not sure if its guilt or what, since it doesn't happen with me. I think he gets afraid its mind over matter or that he doesn't love her enough or something. I dunno. Interested to hear if any others have heard of this too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 10:55am
hi trouble and mess -- i would imagine a man could have tons of stressors that cause his loss of erection and also have health issues too.

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 10:59am
Ditto to what Gurl said. Oh btw it would be a hugh turn on for me... LOL, yeah I am a little weird...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 11:06am
I know he can't get it up only with me and that makes me feel good. I know he is a very loyal man and that his sex life with his wife is over.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 11:41am
Then I don't feel weird anymore... LOL


Edited 3/8/2004 11:43 am ET ET by julietsfate
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 11:33am
hmm... ok, I'll contribute the man's point of view to this...

While I haven't actually been through this, I can understand it. When my W has tried to instigate sex in the last few months I've generally tried to avoid it. While I'm not exactly "unable" it generally isn't something I want to do, and if I could find that switch that turned me into a cold jerk I would just stop altogether.

Maybe I'm a little too sensually cognizant. Even though I know that sex isn't what it once was with her, I see she does have some need to be close to someone and I'm the only person she's with. I'd feel really guilty just rejecting her despite the fact that a sex life that was once a solid "7" is now a "3" on average.

In addition sexuality changes depending on experience and partners. For me at least, I seem to reinvent my sexuality with whomever I'm seeing. I'm wired for sex with the OW now, and it's pretty close to what my perfect ideal of sex has always been. The truth is that there's just no way to be stirred sexually by my W as I once was; any contact with her is affection, not passion. And given a long enough period of time, I suspect that I would eventually have difficulty obtaining the necessary state to participate at even that level.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 11:46am
You know what raining and xxx, I really don't care about this topic anymore. I would happy to know my man can "do it" with me. That's all really matters... Please don't get me wrong I am being curt and rude here, but I want men who post here to know "impotence" is curable in many ways and as long as there are understanding partners nothing is a big problem. Not in my opinion, anyway...

PS: I know what you mean by "wired" to do it somebody you love, raining. I am that way too, I cannot have sex with my H sometimes because I am not that wired to him.


Edited 3/11/2004 11:49 am ET ET by julietsfate