indirect contact today i guess.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
indirect contact today i guess.
11
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 9:34pm
all day today my emotions have been up side down and all over, bouts of crying. well any way i went out for lunch to a deli, grabbed a sub, and on the way back decided to stop at AP former job to give him back a adaptor cable i found in my car that he lost when i brought over his PS2 a couple of weeks ago. jason had customers so i didn't stop, drove back to work, then at the light behind me i see AP ride pull up to his old job. my emotions went wacked again, i decided to leave work instead and take a drive. i couldn't handle being able to see him from across the street and the longing of wanting to be with him, the depression. why did he do this to me, he knew full well i was at work. i was gone for an hour, he was still there, so i drove past went up a back road to get back to work, he drove past me the other way. i cried and lost it. i pulled into work and walk inside, he turned around and pulled back into his old job. i went in the bathroom and cried. he had jason call my job back to back 4 times, i didn't hear the pages, he wanted to talk to me. i seen AP leave, they paged me again to call jason. jason told me AP wanted to tell me he's no longer with the company. which tells me he never read my emails from last night. jason and i talked for a while about AP. tonight i finally dropped off AP adaptor cord. i told jason to tell AP please take care, and i miss him. he says he talks to him every day. i know he will. they go way back. i know jason knows about AP and i now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 6:04pm
yestarday my AP went through is old co-worker to get into contact with me. i was wondering if you guys think he will try again to go through his co-worker to get in touch with me, or do you think he was telling me good bye when his message was he was no longer with the company. when i dropped off the adaptor last night to jason, i wanted so badly to ask him if he could call AP so i could talk to him. then i thought i can't put him in the middle like that. i did ask him to tell AP that i said please take care and that i miss him. he says he talks to him all the time. every day, they are very close and have known each other for more then a decade. if AP trusts him, so do i. i just wish i answered the phone at work, so i could've talked to him myself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 8:46am
still feeling depressed and lonely, and obsessed thoughts. i sent him i total 3 emails. he'll never reply because he doesn't want his name on my pc, his wife to find him emailing. i wonder if he even read them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 9:04am

Are you sure his wife doesn't have access to his e-mail??

Here's the thing. My OM and I NEVER use cell phones or home phones. Never ever. So, because I would never expect him to do that (EVEN if we broke up), I would probably leave my cell phone lying around like I always do. Say OM called and left messages (similar to writing an e-mail). My H could easily pick up my phone and think he should check my messages in case they're important because I obviously haven't noticed them. (I'm notorious for finding messages on my phone that are days old).

If your AP wouldn't expect you to ever send an e-mail, he probably doesn't hide his passwords from his W. How can you be so sure she won't get to your messages first? If she finds out now, at this point, in this way, he would most likely be furious with you.

I just don't know how you could take that chance.

Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2007
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 10:03am

I was thinking the same thing but didn't want to say it.


Tori, you said you got his email address from his resume? Most likely, that is an open email account that he probably assumes is safe to share with his wife. What will he do if he's at home, opens the account, and she sees these multiple emails from you about how much you love him? You've already said that she's been

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 1:33pm
I agree with the previous two posters. Stop emailing him already. If he really wanted to get in touch with you he would have done it already. He knows you're not trying to hide from him. What I don't understand is why is he? Maybe your confession of love scared him off?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 8:13pm
i only emailed twice and haven't done it since except for the pc cord. it was generic and wont email him again. he wont ever email me or call my cell phone. monday he did try to get in touch with me, he actually waited for me to come back to work, i missed his call. i know this affair is over, but it least i told him how i felt and he knows. i'm extremely sad, but the last year and half has been the best time of my life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 8:16pm
i wish he would email once to say don't email any more ever.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 8:26pm
i'm sorry for the misinformation, yes i was looking at his reseme, but seen his email by AP allowing me to use his pc. his email is password locked. i know it was stupid and i shouldn't have sent those emails.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 8:27pm
i wont ever email him again. it was those times.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2008
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 10:18pm

Oh Tori

been watching your anguish here, I am so feeling for you!

Men are funny creatures...when they fail at one thing, they pull away from all things. That doesnt make it easier for you, just maybe a little insight.

My best suggestion is:

pull back, involve your passion else where

Someone who wants to be with you will be back,

Remember that if this is not to be, the man for you is still out there! Don't look at the closed door too long!

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