Intentional DDay

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2010
Intentional DDay
9
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 3:43pm

Have you or your AP ever tried to let the spouse know that their spouse was having an A?Just curious.My S AP is getting very daring for the last 2 weeks and I am getting a feeling that he wants me to be caught.
I am not looking for 'if my AP did this,he knows I would end it'.

Has it ever crossed your mind,even if just as a thought?Did you act on it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 4:01pm

Hi chick,


Interesting question,as I am a SW I have nothing to expose so not relevent to me. However it has crossed my mind when AP ignored me that I could blow his whole world apart if I wanted to.


This was only a thought during one of my anger stages I

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 4:11pm

Hey Chick...I just wanted to let you know that my AP a MM has mentioned that sometimes he would like to get caught.

TanZa2920
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 4:18pm

Hmm...well, that probably makes sense.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 4:24pm

Heck no!

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 4:54pm

Hi Chick,


My AP hasn't tried to PLAY himself like that but if he did he would be very sorry he ever met me =). With that being said I have a best friend who was in an Affair a couple of years ago 2004

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 6:19pm

My OM is single so it would be HIM to whom you would direct the question. But he's not here. He's actually been the more careful one once or twice when I wanted to take more than our usual risks, and he says it's because he knows that if there were a D-day, there would be no more "us".

Maybe you should try to make it clear to your AP that if you had a d-day you would just be forced to give him up? Have you asked him why he's getting so daring? Also, you can refuse to participate in anything too risky.

An AP confronting my H (or anyone confronting him) is one of my worst nightmares. Not something I even want to think about.

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2010
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 8:53am

Thanks for interesting replies.It helps to understand how people think,ya know,just in case ,lol !

I am married with no intention of leaving,AP is aware of that but I guess,its human nature to get jealous and make demands when its not their right to.He adds to my life and thats what it should remain as but to draw the line is a bit tricky as I do slip myself,cant blame him though ;)

DDays can work either way- to the advantage of AP or against him/her.Either way,they better remain in the closet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2009
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 12:30pm

I had thought about this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 9:03pm

I have to admit that the thought has fleetingly crossed my mind, but if the woman doesn't know by now that she is, and has been, cheated on for the last twenty something years...it's certainly not my place to tell her.


AP/BF has wanted me to come to his house since we began our A (three years ago now). I've always refused...until this last month that is. I sometimes think that he's trying to out himself, why else would he drive up to his house with me in his vehicle? It's a small town and we even passed one of his neighbors when he drove me home...a neighbor that I know fairly well too! Just what is he playing at?