Interesting Advice at Therapy Today

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Interesting Advice at Therapy Today
25
Wed, 05-26-2010 - 4:11pm

Though we've talked about AP before, we pretty much spent the entire session today talking about him, and "us".

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2010
Thu, 05-27-2010 - 4:34pm

Thank you Bird! You know what - you are right! I decided not to just sit back and wait and suffer. I sent him a quick hi this morning. Couple of hours later (time difference and work schedule) he sent back a message and apologized for last night. Offered to call at lunch time. So when he called I let him know that I was hurt by yesterday's no return phone call and text, and that it was disrespectful to do that to me. I told him that I could understand that he fell asleep and missed the calling time frame, but that a text takes one minute, and that I deserved that.

He apologized and said he would try to do better.

SO...we'll see. No point in letting those squirrels run around in my head though. Usually after something like this I am much calmer and easygoing about the texts etc. and don't need as much!


Thanks again for the advice!

LouLou
LouLou
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
Thu, 05-27-2010 - 4:53pm

lol ...** takes a bow** ...good luck girls ;-)


Lets tell each other small successes in our new tactics.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
Thu, 05-27-2010 - 5:11pm

A revolution! LOL .... Good for you LouLou!! :-)


Let us know when he does better hey?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Thu, 05-27-2010 - 5:19pm

Glad some of you have already done something similar to this and found success with it, and hope others find it helpful, too:).


You know, I've never had any of that push/pull with AP.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2010
Thu, 05-27-2010 - 10:01pm

As a guy, I hope you wouldn't mind my opinion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2010
Fri, 05-28-2010 - 3:13pm

Your therapist is right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
Fri, 05-28-2010 - 3:58pm
Huh? What kind of a 'therapist' is that? One who gives you tips and tricks to keep AP around and not stop the A ??
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Fri, 05-28-2010 - 6:56pm
The kind who knows I'm in a crappy marriage that's unfixable.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Sat, 05-29-2010 - 10:25am
Bird you are so right. I did get to that place with my OM. He would initiate meeting with me every morning after we mutually dropped off our kids at school to ride in to work together. And when he doesn't make that call, I too, wonder what's up. Then recently, he started calling me after work on his commute home. When he stopped, I started to wonder, but felt so secure and so unneedy in the relationship that it didn't phase me. But something was wrong. He was deliberately trying to distance himself from me, and he admitted to it. I wrote about it elsewhere this morning, because as much as I feel he is the air I breath, I have to draw a line in the sand.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2010
Sat, 05-29-2010 - 7:36pm

Hi anotherseyes

That's really interesting what you said about women being to available. I think that is absolutely the case with me and my AP! Which by the way, stands for what exactly??

He was so into the affair at first but then pulled away. But then he'll want me again and it'll be great but then he'll pull away. So it's all in his control and because I like him so much, I'm always there whenever he wants me. I was also the one pushing for us to meet up again for a night together. It's just so confusing - sometimes I think he really likes me, other times not.

But I think I need to try this too - not being so available and ready to run to him. I feel like crap doing that.

This is so hard, I hate it.