Interesting Advice at Therapy Today

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Interesting Advice at Therapy Today
25
Wed, 05-26-2010 - 4:11pm

Though we've talked about AP before, we pretty much spent the entire session today talking about him, and "us".

anotherseyes

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Sun, 05-30-2010 - 12:26am

I agree totally


When you like someone as mnuch as we want ad like our AP's, (Affair Partner) its hard not to be at their beck and call just to spend some precious time in their company!


But all that does is give them all the power in the relationship, inflate their ego's (and I dont know about you but my AP has a pretty healthy ego already) ad deflate our own ego's (again dont know about others but my self-ego is easily battered). So.... where does that leave us? With squirrels!!!! He is off livibg his life, enjoying the time we spend together, but not worrying about when he'll see you again because he absolutely knows he will.


Whereas we are living our lives waiting for him, analysing every little thing he does or says and then moving heaven and earth to be with him.


So this is what I did (after a tumultous few months and coming to a point where I just couldnt deal with this anymore).


* I came to the painful decision that this A will never last. 99.99999999% of afffairs dont (not sure of the statistics but they are slim).


* I realised that I was idealising my AP. Making him appear perfect and sexual and exciting and fun and wealthy and blah blah. But

You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Sun, 05-30-2010 - 2:41pm

"He is off livibg his life, enjoying the time we spend together, but not worrying about when he'll see you again because he absolutely knows he will."


Sure seems that way, doesn't it?


Due to the situation I'm now going through with H, I decided I needed a night away tonight.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2010
Sun, 05-30-2010 - 9:21pm
Wow, IGS...GREAT "sermon" :) You are "getting stronger" ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2010
Tue, 06-01-2010 - 7:26pm

Love what you wrote IGS!!!!

I'm at a crossroads with my A, where my contract is over in 2 weeks and we still haven't had The Talk. Some days he's hot, some days he's cool to me. It's excruciating and my heart is breaking and I don't know what to think.

I am starting to realize that it is just an affair, that realistically we aren't meant or going to be together, and that my long term bf is wonderful, loving, patient, and loves me so much. So I'm starting to get a lot of what you just wrote.

I just hope that my AP wants to continue and that we can figure out a way to make this work and enjoy it for what it is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 6:09am

Thanks for the thanks :)


Im very much a Work In Progress- most days Im swatting squirrels- but some days I have peace and clarity (for a second)... and then another squirrel :)


You are what you consistently do

Pages