An intro and question

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2010
An intro and question
1
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 8:18am

Hi everyone,

I am new here and have spent a lot of time reading your stories. Thank you for sharing them and yourselves.

My situation is I am in the beginning stages of a divorce. My STBX is currently still living in our house and I have been sleeping on the couch for 2 months. I met my AP about a month ago. He is MM and has no intentions of leaving his W. I am not looking for a R because of my situation. So, we have concluded that we are FWB more than anything else.

We both own our own businesses and they are the same business so we have a lot in common and the friendship has come easy. Because I am my own boss and try to avoid STBX as much as possible, my freedom to see him definitely exceeds his ability to see me. I am trying to get used to that.

Our sexual chemistry is crazy good and we are so compatible in that manner.

So, here comes my question. When we first met, we got together once before he left for a week vacation. During that vacation, we began texting and it quickly became some hot sex texts. We both seemed to enjoy them a lot. He definitely enjoyed sexually arousing me via texts. These sort of texts continued for the next 3 weeks.

Then, all of a sudden, last week they seemed to come to a screeching halt. I would text something sexy and he wouldn't reply. Every so often I would try again and again get no response.

We have seen each other 2 times since and we do talk via phone or FB chat every day. But, it's mostly regular get to know you chat and talk of when we can see each other again.

I don't get it. I don't know how to bring it up. I know that for me, his texts were wonderful distractions and a form of attention that I crave. Was I using them as an excuse to be in constant contact with him and drove him away in that sense?? What do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 8:49am

I dunno free. We could speculate on why he pulled back and stopped those sorts of texts, but only he can actually TELL you why. It wouldn't be too hard to bring up. When you're together in person (it always goes better in person - less chance of misunderstanding tone, etc.) just say something like "Hey, I really miss that naughty texting we used to do! Is there a reason you stopped?" That's all - just that question and you'll have the answer as to why he stopped. Maybe he didn't like sexual texts being on his phone? (Weird because he can delete them).

By the way - welcome to MAS!

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