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| Sat, 04-10-2010 - 9:04am |
I stumbled across this message board and I'm really glad that I did...it's heartening to see that there are so many other people in the same situation as me.
I've been married for quite some time and never thought that I'd have an affair. My M isn't happy, I just wasn't looking to supplement it in that way. I've considered D a thousand times, but that's never seemed like the right thing to do either. Anyway, when I met my current AP, we became fast friends - we had a million things in common and could (and did) talk for hours about anything. Looking back, I guess we entered into an EA without even knowing what we were doing.
Three months ago, we were both in Florida for business for a week and things rapidly turned physical. If I'm being completely honest, by the time we left on that trip, we probably both knew what was going to happen. What we didn't know was how deep our feelings would become and how quickly it would happen.
The three months since have been an emotional roller coaster ride. AP has been married for many years and had one long-term affair (two years) early in his marriage - he was eventually caught and was given an ultimatum by his W - at that time he obviously chose to stay.
We've spent much of out time together making (and then breaking) the rules of our affair. We weren't going to fall in love - now we are. We were going to see one another once a week and try to travel for a few days together every few months - I don't think we've seen each other less than three times in a week and for two months we've found excuses to go out of town with one another at a rate of every other week. We are both business owners that travel for work so getting away is not difficult - however our trips have, for the most part, had nothing to do with business and everything to do with needing to be together.
We talk nonstop via blackberry messenger and find ways to call everyday (weekends included), for at least long enough to hear the other's voice. I spend my time going back and forth between being extremely happy and scared out of my mind. I'd like to think that there may be a future for us - but on the other hand, I don't see how that can ever happen...and I find myself wondering if it can't, why I continue to do this to myself.
Sorry, this has gotten so long...what I really wanted to say was that I'm glad to have found this board and I'm hopeful that I can find (and lend) some support to others in the same situation as me. :)

yes, you surely have come to the right place and your experience, as exhilirating as
Welcome to MAS bizzylamb!
Your name sounded really familiar to me. Doing a search, I found a lot of posts by you from 2007 (at least, it was the exact username, and I don't think ivillage allows people to duplicate the name), and it was the story I remembered - a much older AP who was now your b/f after he left his long term marriage for you? Is that right - doesn't sound like your story here though. But here's a link to the last post from "bizzylamb":
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlmyaffair/?msg=49692.2
Affairland is a roller coaster, and you can vent here anytime! Glad you found your way here (again? LOL)
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