involved with a married man

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2003
involved with a married man
Fri, 09-19-2003 - 1:26pm
Hello all and I'm glad to see a message board where I won't get the usual "You BSW, you home wrecker, it's never going to work" speach. However, I am in a relationship with a married man and have been for the past 2 years. I've been reading alot of these messages on different websites and I'm seeing alot of situations where the married man makes it clear to the girlfriend that he is never going to leave his wife or get a divorce.

Well,in my situation it's different. My boyfriend WANTS a divorce and wants to be with me. He took me on when I was pregnant with my (now ex-boyfriend's )baby and going through a HORRIBLE break up with my ex. He has bent over backwards for me and my children. He has also legally adopted my daughter. After the first year with him, I became skeptical about the whole "divorce" thing because I couldn't understand what was taking so long. I broke up with him for about a month and a half and now we are back together. Now his house and property is up for sale and if this current offer on his house goes through he'll be out. He says that even if it doesn't sell, he is leaving anyway. He doesn't want to wait around for another offer. His wife is well aware of me. I called her once and had a 3 hour long conversation with her about this. THAT WAS THE WORST MISTAKE I COULD HAVE EVER MADE. For some stupid reason, I thought his wife would either leave him or side with me. Instead, she proceeded to say anything it took to run me off and understandably so. I caught her in about a dozen lies that I know for a FACT aren't true. He is with me M-F and on the weekends, he goes home because she works all day and he watches the kids. However, it's very hard for me knowing that over the weekends he is under the same roof as she is. I truly believe that this marriage will end....however, it just might take a little longer. The question is, is can I continue to deal with this or not??



My point is that I DO NOT suggest this to anyone. I love my boyfriend and there's no doubt in my mind that he feels the same for me. But the road has been long and hard. And if I had any advice for anyone considering getting into this type of relationship, it would be not to do it. Even when they do get divorced, there's still going to be a big mess because now, I have the wife who despises me and is probably going to make things harder between me, him, and his children. I will be viewed as the whore who took thier daddy away. Also, there's the financial part of it. Plus the combining of our families. I could go on and on. So if you want to be with someone who is married, please think about these things because no matter what you say or do, you are eventually going to want them to get a divorce. And that's when reality kicks in. So just be careful everyone.