This isn't how it's suppose to be

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009
This isn't how it's suppose to be
10
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 12:35pm

I'm just curious, but when did offering comfort to someone else become second to telling your own story? I have been noticing a trend on here lately where someone starts a thread, and the majority of replies that they receive are all about the person who is replying, and their story. I mean, I want to hear everybody's story, so if you want to share your story, please start a new thread. Don't hit reply, and then talk about just yourself.

I can't lie, perhaps I have been guilty of it from time to time, but that seems to be what the majority of new people on here think is suppose to happen. I know using your story is the easiest way to give an example, but to speak of nothing but yourself is not being helpful.

Justice

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2009
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 12:56pm

Awww Justice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 3:10pm

Thank you for the very nice compliment you gave me, I'm glad that you feel that way.

I wasn't trying to lean on anybody, and I agree, a tid bit of info in a reply is helpful, and makes it more real. But I was speaking in reference to posts that I have been seeing lately that don't offer advice, but just talk only about themselves. I think that each thread should be given the respect of an answer. By all means tell your story, because I want to hear it too, but start a new thread. Just try a little harder to give solid advice, and not just tell your own story.

IDK, maybe it's just me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 3:25pm

I agree with you Justice-girl!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2008
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 5:15pm

Hi Justice,


I'm a new poster on the board and trying to do the best I can to help others and contribute to the discussions.


I am certain I do not know enough about the etiquette of how much personal information is too much personal information to add to a post when attempting to "set the stage" vs. thread hijacking

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 5:59pm

Hmmm - interesting topic.


I guess my thoughts are these - really there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to post on the board - really the fact that you are posting means you either are in need of support - or have been or will be again - due to the very nature of the board.


I agree with many of the things you all have said here

lightning in my heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 7:24pm
justice i'm very guilty of that...sometimes it is a way of empathizing..just letting the person know we are going through the same thing...but i laughed when i read this post because you are right...lol and i'm even guilty of it..but, i will be offerring more support now

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 1:31am

I'm not calling anybody out, and that was not my intention. I surely didn't mean to make anybody feel bad. I just think that sometimes a person that hits the reply button, and speaks of nothing but themselves should in the future try to give your reply a little more balance, that's all.

Of course when you post it's going to be from your POV, and what you have experienced, and that is what makes a post rich, and real. When someone gives me background on where they have been, and what they have experienced it lets me know that they aren't blowing smoke up my butt, but they have BTDT, and KNOW what I'm talking about. I don't want that to change. I have just been seeing a trend lately that I felt moved to speak on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 8:12am

Hi Justice,


Yeah, I can see what you mean about some people(maybe me sometimes) hijacking a thread to talk about themselves but like btrue2yrself said maybe it is a way for people to show empathy.

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 12:36pm

That's all I was trying to do.....give people a friendly reminder.

Justice

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 12:42pm

I tell ya, you and tgr are always so sweet! Thank you, it makes me feel good that you see things that way.

Justice