Is this it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2003
Is this it?
4
Mon, 08-18-2003 - 8:25pm
I am 29 years old and I have a great life. I have a great job, a wonderful DH (who is driving me crazy at the moment) a beautiful 2 year old DD who is well behaved, a great car, a great house but I still feel like something is missing. I just keep saying to my self "Is this it" Is this what I am meant to do with my life? Bills, housework, etc. I feel myself daydreaming of a life of a single girl. Same great job, same great friends but in a one bedroom apartment on my own. Is this normal? My single friends tell me that I am crazy and that I should be happy for what I have.

I recently went on a trip for work and had a fling with a co-worker who is a friend of mine. (Male) He and I are comfortable with the fact that it happened and joke about it. We meet at his place last week and did it again. I love my DH but I feel a void in our relationship. Not even my A could fill it. I look at the news and all the bad things in the world and feel selfish for feeling this way.

Please shed some light on what I am feeling.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: momofbeauty
Mon, 08-18-2003 - 8:46pm
hi momofbeauty l don't know but does sound are very unhappy have talk to your H about being unhappy maybe that would help you. for me lm 40 year old look like lm 25 but l'm single and would be married have family by now.you are luckly being married your friends are right you luckly have h and kids.l think all great single guys are taken out their. l'm getting to old now have kids but lm aunt so great to going aunt again in late jan or feb for 3 time so happy about that.wish had answer for you but hugs to you kimmy
kimmy
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2003
In reply to: momofbeauty
Mon, 08-18-2003 - 10:35pm
Thank you for your kind words. I have tried to talk to my DH but he just dosen't understand why I feel this way. I think that is why I went the route of an A when I had the chance. It's frusterating but I will keep trying with him for the sake of my DD. Take care and God Bless.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
In reply to: momofbeauty
Mon, 08-18-2003 - 11:54pm
Hi momofbeauty and welcome,

I would definitely have to agree that yes! something is missing... but rather than affair... maybe it's something you need to do.

While for me... my EMA has filled a great void in my life... you yourself said that you didn't even think an affair could fill yours.

Maybe it's time to break free... sure! you have a great job... but have you ever wanted to take a chance and try something else??? or even take up a great new hobby... something that will encourage your mind and sole... and not your body ;)

As for you marriage... have you talked to your DH about it all??? while there may not appear to be anything wrong... it could be something you haven't realised. You could always try counselling... either for yourself or couples for you both... I found a lot about myself doing both.

I don't think you are being too selfish... I know what it's like to go every day thinking of everyone else's needs before you... and while I'm ok with that... I'm a wife and a mother... but there is never anything wrong with wanting a little something for yourself in the process.

It's not much... but I hope I've helped in the thought process just a little.

luv and hugs

Sweet

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
In reply to: momofbeauty
Tue, 08-19-2003 - 10:40am
Hi momofbeauty

I think it's normal to feel that way. (If you are only daydreaming about it and not seriously considering it). Although, who am I to say what is normal? I guess only you know that answer. I have often though "Is this it?" too. Same circumstances - good job (one I love - which is rare), great H and children, a nice place to live, etc. But sometimes I think it can be overwhelming - the monotony of it all. No excitement, same old, same old. I guess that is a part of the reason I allowed myself to get into the affair I'm in now. Just know you are not alone in how you feel.

Just be careful - try to remember to continue to appreciate what you have. I know I do. Because even though I feel the way you do sometimes, I know if I lost what I have I would be devastated. Life is about choices - and I think the grass is always greener to a certain extent. Hope this helps a little.