It is finally going to happen!
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It is finally going to happen!
| Fri, 03-05-2004 - 2:25am |
Hi,
my married man is finally going to be single. His wife told him she was leaving in 2 months. They have not slept together for 6 years. He sleeps on the couch ! I have been loving him for over a year now. Everyday I love him more. I am divorced and live with one daughter that is out of school for good soon. He has two girls that are still young and he loves them very much. That is why he has stayed so long in a loveless relationship. She has finally made up her mind to leave. She knows that I am his best friend. He does not want our relationship to be used as the reason for the divorce. He says that it would be to hard on the girls that way. And of course their relationship was over for a long time before I came into the picture. He is going through a very hard time right now. Is it unreal to think that he can separate and the girls never know that we were together before the seperation? They have never met me but they know that I am their dads best friend. I personally think they know about their dad and I. My kids know because we have never hid it from them. Do you think they will except our relationship knowing that their father is happy with me? And hasn't been happy with their mother for years? We are in our 40,s and life is getting shorter everyday! Hopeing for a better next 30 years!!!
my married man is finally going to be single. His wife told him she was leaving in 2 months. They have not slept together for 6 years. He sleeps on the couch ! I have been loving him for over a year now. Everyday I love him more. I am divorced and live with one daughter that is out of school for good soon. He has two girls that are still young and he loves them very much. That is why he has stayed so long in a loveless relationship. She has finally made up her mind to leave. She knows that I am his best friend. He does not want our relationship to be used as the reason for the divorce. He says that it would be to hard on the girls that way. And of course their relationship was over for a long time before I came into the picture. He is going through a very hard time right now. Is it unreal to think that he can separate and the girls never know that we were together before the seperation? They have never met me but they know that I am their dads best friend. I personally think they know about their dad and I. My kids know because we have never hid it from them. Do you think they will except our relationship knowing that their father is happy with me? And hasn't been happy with their mother for years? We are in our 40,s and life is getting shorter everyday! Hopeing for a better next 30 years!!!

hi xxxtrouble and welcome to the board!
wow, you are finally (hopefully!) getting your heart's desire!!
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board
I know my W goes back and forth on whether she wants to separate. She will say she does and then beg me to stay. I know that ultimately, it will require me being strong to break away. I suspect that will be the case with her MM also.
And when I do move out, I absolutely will not move in with the OW. First of all, I feel I need time to sort through my feelings without diving back into living with another person. Plus, it will be important from the perspective of my children and yes, even my ex, that I am living alone and devoting my time to my kids. And in a few years, hopefully the R with my current OW will have continued to develop to the point where we want to move in together and then marry. It is important to take things slow though. I think the reason so many marriages that result from A's fail is because people don't give themselves time to get over the previous M. So do yourself a favor and give him the time he needs to adjust his life and that of his children. Be there for him and certainly you can begin to date once the divorce is final. Just be careful and considerate of the feelings of his kids. Yes, they will eventually come around and you can't make them like you. But with a little care, you can make the process a lot easier. And don't forget that even though his M has essentially been dead for a long time, it will still be very frightening for him to go through this turmoil.
Good luck and I hope everything works out the way you want it. I will soon be in the same position as your MM and it is both terrifying and exciting. Just be there for him and love him. I know you will. :)
Speaking from experience, the kids will be fine. I also am D, my Ex-H moved in right away with his GF. The kids took that rather well. I think they were more worried about me, because I didn't date for a year after the D.
But kids are very resilient. Even though mine sometimes would say "why don't you and daddy get back together?" I just had to explain in terms they could understand, that was never going to happen.
You take it easy, give him the time alone with his kids. Then gradually he can introduce you into their lives. And take it from there. I hope everything works out for you, we all deserve some happiness in our lives. (and I am like you, in my 40's and thinking I deserve better than what I have now too). Take care,
Dusty