It hurts too much

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
It hurts too much
Sun, 09-16-2012 - 9:08pm

I have been in my online affair now for eight weeks.  We are both married, he with kids. We catch time together when we can and I am usually more than OK with this arrangement.  I understand his situation and totally get it.  This afternoon he had to cut our time together short and for some reason I felt like a piece of s-h-i-t.  I have spent the last hour crying.  Of course I am home with my husband so cannot tell him what is really wrong with me.. the pain this afternoon is unbearable.  I want to be the cool understanding AP that he knows, but I want to tell him how much it hurt me too...  I have never felt this bad and of course he is not "available" right now, so I can't say anything unless I leave it for him to see when he gets online tonight...  that might not be the best course of action though.  Confused, hurt, upset.  Thank you for any advice you can give!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
In reply to:
Sun, 09-16-2012 - 11:05pm

I'm not sure any of us will have advice that will make it easier.  This is what an A is.  There will be happy, amazing stolen moments and there will be times like this. What you are feeling is exactly normal in an A, and it just means that you respond like a person whose heart feels emotions normally.  I think things will probably get harder to handle over time, as you continue to feel more for him, but then at some part (after a few years), it seems like it starts to mellow out finally.  So if you can just make it for 22 more  

Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
In reply to:
Mon, 09-17-2012 - 11:58am

Hon, you are still in the beginning stages, where all is great and wonderful.  And then, something happens like this and you feel bad.  I agree that it does get easier with time.

In my opinion, because I have been on and off with the same guy for 6 years, would be to let it go for the moment.  I am sure he feels bad also.  I would just let it go personally.  You only get so much time with him, and you don't want it to be unhappy.  Not saying it is the right thing to do. 


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