Is it over before it really started?
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| Tue, 06-01-2004 - 10:53am |
I was with MM and he was telling me a fantasy. He is very detailed in his fantasies by the way! So I'm trying to get into it, and he keeps mentioning different women at work (they are all in this fantasy). It just got to be too much for me - my mind started to wander and all I could think about was him being with all these women!
I told him this (it kind of killed the mood...) Anyway, he said 'I like to fantasize, and it just makes it more real'. Then I said, well, it makes me think of you being with all these women. He said,'don't think that - this is not a game'. And I said 'ok' and got over it. This affected his mood shall we say, but I got him back in the mood quickly.
My question for you all is 'would this bother YOU?'
I haven't talked to him since this happened on Friday.
n

It would bother me BIG time. I wouldn't feel special at all; I would be p-off and then hurt.
Why did he do this?
I em'd him later that day and said 'Next time, leave their names out! I said
I don't wanna know!'
He didn't address my comment in his response - just said to have a good weekend.
Anyway, I haven't heard from him yet today. It really did bother me a lot.
I need an explanation from him. And it better be good!
: )
~jen
I don't know why your man is sharing his fantasies with you that he has about other women. Why isn't he sharing fantasy scenarios he wants to have with you? Something to think about. Take care..
IBC
I concur with Confused 100%. Your OM has explaining to do. Period.
Just let him know its good that he considers you a good friend to confide but certain things are like this a better left unsaid... LOL TMI, if you will...
In his defense, he knows I have fantasies of being w/other women, so maybe he thought he was blending both our fantasies together. He told me that he never shared his fantasies w/his first wife (I think things are different with the second).
Anyway, thanks for the perspective on this. I would still like him to give me a better answer than 'don't think that!' I am sure he dated a lot of women here at work, and I just don't want to be someone on 'his list'. It took me 2 1/2 years to give in to these feelings and it would kill me to think I was just some conquest.
n
i am glad you realize i didn't mean to downplay your feelings :)
~jen
I even told him that my feelings were not even the same after that.
He said that it was totally fictious and he thought it
would get me hot! Well I told him that I don't want details like that...
Told him when I fantasize about him there is no one else around.
We'll see what happens.