it started, I want it to continue. how?
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| Sun, 12-20-2009 - 8:41pm |
So I am a mw and have been developing feelings for a guy at work for 2 years. We no longer work together, but him and his w are close friends of h and I. After my feelings started growing I found myself looking for an ap, since I couldn't have him-he never seemed interested. Well in Aug, the 4 of us-him,his w, my h and I, ended up in the hot tub. He was touching me without anyone knowing-we were all pretty drunk. Nothing happened after that. No aknowledgement of anything.
Well a couple days ago we were there again, and he suggested the hot tub. Long story short, same stuff continued, but a little more. We went inside, (h and I were staying the night there) his w went to bed, so did my h (in separate rooms) and he stayed downstairs. He brushed up against me and said he wanted to be with me, and that it needed to stay between us. Then he went upstairs. That was it.
Nothing has ever happened between us except these 2 encounters, but I want more. How do I know if he is into it? He can be kind of shy, but it is a tricky situation since our spouses are friends. I really want it, and wonder if he does to. How???
Thanks

Are you sure you want to pursue a relationship with him when you're both married? Are you prepared for the fallout
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If you want to continue then you can either call him or wait until the next get together. I recommend the latter. That's what I did. We also got together "as friends" alone a few times before anything MAJOR happened. He had to work me up to doing anything sober - you might have to do the same with this guy especially if he's shy. I am also shy. I had to be sweet talked first. :) Or, if you call him, you could feel him out that way, but he might sound weird on the phone and then you'll be confused about the whole thing. In person is better.
But, if you want my opinion (I'm going to give it to you even though you didn't ask) I recommend not doing it. It will be exciting and most likely the sex will be awesome, but if you can't keep your feelings out of it, you'll end up hurt, like me.
"I rationalized it by saying I needed to get
this woman met my need for conversation, for jokes and light-hearted banter, for freedom from criticism, and she made me feel relaxed and alive again. It started as friends, moved to flirting, and then ended up with us meeting and having sex. The sex was great because of the light and fun nature of our relationship--which I do NOT have with my wife, who is anxious, serious and depressed a lot of the time. I miss the texting, the ribbing and teasing, the fact that she wanted to talk to me on her way to and from work, and that she treated me like a man--didn't parent and control me like my wife.