It's always the co-worker isn't it?HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2008
It's always the co-worker isn't it?HELP!
7
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 6:10pm

I can't even believe I'm posting in the MAS section.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2008
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 9:15pm

You might not like me for this, but STOP now!!


I had a coworker start off right where you are about 6 months ago.


We kept going because we felt like we were 16 and never felt this kind of feeling before. We talked about kissing forever. He finally did.


He since told his wife everything.

Tynk


no contact means feeling free, not feeling guilty and looking in the mirror and finally, finally&n

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2008
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 4:50pm

My first and second physical relationships were with co-workers. Not affairs - in each case we were both single.

They both ended badly (ironically, both guys cheated); I had to face people knowing all about it. It took years to stop feeling as if everyone was looking at me and sniggering. In reality, I suspect very few people had any idea but I became totally paranoid.

As a result I wouldn't even DATE a co-worker again, let alone have an affair with one!

You're already at the point where people are noticing. Desire or not, stop right there. Dream about it at home if you must, fantasise during sex... but don't, don't go there for real.

D x

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 5:51pm

Make sure you understand what you're getting yourself into.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2008
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 10:48pm

So this is the first time I've ever come to this board (I just found out about it today). How wierd to read a post that I could have written a few months ago.


I would agree with the previous poster and tell you to stop now, but I honestly don't think it will do any good. I would not (and did not) listen when someone told me that same thing. I don't think there was anything that could have been said to sway me, so I won't tell you anything.


Anyway, I don't have advice for you. Just think long and hard about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2008
Thu, 10-02-2008 - 11:50am
I am going on 10 plus years with a co-worker so I do beleive I have some experience:) We started out very, very, slow...the flirting, the arm brush, the jokes, the everytime I looked at him he was looking at me thing. We were always in each others offices. First kiss was leaving after an office happy hour. OS on a weekend seminar...then nothing for months. I could go on and on but it would take pages to tell all but it sounds to me like you both want something to happen but he is afraid...he made a commitement to his marriage and it is hard for men to break that commitement at least that is what my AP had a hard time with. We are both M. All I can say is if you take it further...good luck and be prepared for the roller coaster.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2008
Fri, 10-03-2008 - 10:02am

Thank you all for your insight!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
Fri, 10-03-2008 - 10:30am

Man have I been where you are?! There is NOTHING short of the birth of my three children that brought me more excitement, and overall ecstasy than the beginning stages of my A. If you could bottle that feeling and sell it you wouldn't find a bank big enough to hold all your money. I know you would be getting my paycheck regularly! Just a word of caution. Prepare yourself for a few things. 1. IT WILL GET PHYSICAL, and probably soon, and when it does, I wouldn't be surprised if it blows your mind (unless he can't handle his business if you know what I mean) After that first IC your A will go to a whole other level. 2. The more you get, the more you want. NO AMOUNT will be enough. 3. Try as hard as you may, and as much as you will fight it, you WILL develop emotions for AP. Even if you set your mind that your not going there, you will. It's happened to just about all of us. 4. This when you start the roller coaster ride. This is when you will feel higher than you ever have, and close to, if not, the lowest you have ever felt. You will become over analytical, and AP w/ become somewhat of a obsession. I am gonna stop there w/ the predictions. After all what fun is it if you already know what's going to happen. I just told you the other things so that you can prepare yourself for the inevitable drawbacks that go hand in hand w/ A's. My suggestion? As unrealistic as it sounds..... get out now before it get physical. If you still love H, and want to stay married get out now! Living two lives is more than twice the work. But if you just can't get out even if you really tried, then I say hold on, because YOU ARE MOST DEFINITELY IN FOR THE RIDE OF YOU LIFE!

Good luck in whatever you choose.