It's been like 10 years!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2010
It's been like 10 years!
2
Sat, 04-24-2010 - 4:58pm

I don't know where else to go and can't get this off my mind anywhere else. I am married and in love with my husband. However, I am in love with another man. I have been for years so this goes beyond a simple little crush. There has never been anything physical at all. Just some flirting, lots of friendshiplike talks etc. I wont even tough him because I'm afraid that he will see my feelings written all over my face! I believe he has deep feelings for me as well but am sometimes unsure. I know that we will start to get close (lots of texts or whatnot) and then one of us will back off for a while with NC.


Because I have felt this way for years I often just long to know if he feels the same way. I have no idea what I would do if he did/didn't but the desire to know is so strong. But I am afraid to just ask. I guess afraid of rejection, making a fool of myself etc.


Thoughts? Advice? Anything? :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Sat, 04-24-2010 - 7:51pm

Welcome to MAS grlnxdoor!

If you really intend for nothing to happen between you, then IMO it's better to leave those questions unanswered. Once that door is opened, if he admits to feeling the same way, you'll be on a runaway train with your feelings and probably unable to stop from going where you don't want to go! Think about it. Right now he adds to your life without tearing it up. Do you really want to go to a totally different place with your relationship with him? Think long and hard!

Proud to be a



Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2010
Sat, 04-24-2010 - 8:42pm

Honestly, I don't know. Somedays I think I'm better off this way. Mainly because I think he really deserves someone who can love him exclusively and be there for him day in and day out. Someone to come home to you know.


But other days I can't stop thinking about it (like today.) It's all I can do to keep myself from picking up the phone and just asking him point blank.


The hard part is, it's not going away. It's not fading. He has moved a little farther away and I thought the distance would help but nope! I don't know what I'm really asking for here but definitely needed to get it off my chest!